No Dog For Me

No. Turned out that the dog was not to be mine. Well it was mine for less than a week before it became evident that he was a biter and had to go back. 

The previous owner knew he bit people but decided that giving him to an inexperienced first-time dog owner would be the best thing rather than to see a dog behaviourist or give him to a professional shelter who would work on his behaviour or make sure that an experienced owner capable of reading the signs would be matched to be his forever home.

It was very sad but I couldn't keep a dog that turned around and bit me when it felt like it. I have friends with kids and just couldn't risk it. I started to become nervous around him and didn't trust him after the first time. I did look after little Wilson (my neighbours dog) last night and it seems I'm not put off dogs in general, it was just the wrong dog for me.

I'm going to leave it for now I think and carry on without a pet for the time being. Such a shame but it was the best thing for both me and the dog.

I Resolve to Have Another Great Year

My New Years Companion

Happy New Year blog followers! I hope you had a good one. As I've mentioned before, I'm not a big fan of New Year's Eve - and all that forced joviality and people desperately trying to have fun while they get drunker and drunker then start the New Year with a hangover. 

Not for me; I spent it with Wilson and Dotty while their owner went out for the night. I watched some TV, crocheted some squares for a blanket, drank cava, cuddled the dog, and counted my blessings. Not because I'm an old lady but because these are the things that make me happy. The London fireworks were incredible and actually brought a tear to my eye - which is somewhat of a rarity! Britain done good this year what with the Olympics and the Diamond Jubilee. It was a very good year for the UK.

Spot The Dog

2012 has been an absolutely stonking year for me too as it goes. This year I learned to drive in 7 weeks then passed my test first time, I went to Vegas, stayed at The Mirage, and had dinner at Bellagio's; I went to the Amalfi Coast for my birthday and visited Pompeii for the third time, I got to be a surrogate owner to my neighbours dog Wilson who brings joy to every day I spend with him, I acquired my own flat that I pay peanuts for, and both my businesses have been more successful than any year since I went freelance 3 years ago. Not bad going I would say.

Of course I also split up with my boyfriend and left my darling cat Dillinger with him when I moved out. But I see it that thickie kitty is happy and I took care of his needs above my own, and I left a relationship that wasn't working before we both ended up hating each other.

This morning, after a lovely night with the furry freaks curled up together next to me on the bed, I woke up early and was walking Wilson in the park before 9am. I must say I have never seen that many joggers in the park before! Only a handful of dog walkers but a tonne of (I'm guessing New Year's resolution) people puffing their way around the park. After the wettest British summer since records began, this morning was bright, fresh, sunny and a really nice start to the year.

Brighton Wheel

Not many people like to start New Year's resolutions but I do. I think it's good to improve yourself so I always aim for a few things that I think I might be able to manage. These are my resolutions for this year:

1. Get some help with my sugar addiction. I'm overweight and can't stop eating sweet things. I'm planning on doing a skills swap in the next couple of weeks with a hypnotherapist as I gave up smoking 10 years ago with the Alan Carr book so hopefully It'll work with sugar as well
2. I've never been in a helicopter so I intend on changing that
3. I've never been on the Brighton Wheel which is crap seeing as it's been here a while now and only costs £8
4. I'd like to finally get around to making that damned quilt. I've got the books, a sewing machine, and lots of fabric, so it's just getting my arse in gear and doing it!
5. I'd like to continue learning Italian with the website Memrise. It's brilliant and is working - I just need to keep it up now... then go back to Italy to practice!

All achievable goals I reckon. So how did you all spend Christmas and New Year's Eve, and do you have any resolutions for this year?

Meet Wilson (and Dotty)

Sadly I haven't gotten myself my long-yearned for puppy but I have got the next best thing - a time-share dog!

My new neighbour, lovely as she is, leaves her 8 and a half month puppy Wilson and her 4 month old kitten Dotty on their own for 11 hours each day while she works in London. I think this is terrible but I've decided not to confront her about this, instead I asked if I could look after them as I work from home and can give them company when she can't. I figured this was the best option instead of telling her she was irresponsible then having to walk past her door every day knowing they were shut up inside.

They don't even have the run of her flat either; she shuts up the living room and bedroom so they only have a small kitchen and a small hall to play in. Because we are the only people to share the front door to the building, she's given me a key and I let them upstairs with me when I get up, and I leave both our doors ajar so they can come and go as they please.

The good thing is that I don't have to have them all day. The dog walker comes twice a week to take Wilson out (she is mad about him and always picks him up first and drops him off last) then I take them back downstairs when I have to really focus on some work for a while or if I have to go somewhere I can't take him. It's working out very well so far - it's just been 5 days so far but we're both very happy with the set up.

This has turned out to be the perfect solution for both of us as I can get the experience of what it's like to have a dog without the cost and responsibility, and she knows that they aren't shut up feeling miserable. I can tell you that the reality of looking after a dog is much different than the dream of having one. Maybe because they're both young and encourage each other, but they are full-on!!!

I took Wilson out 3 times today and got completely drenched on his first walk in the park. I have since discovered that dog-walkers have old clothes that they wear in such circumstances; who'd have known? He looked a right state and I didn't look much better. I'm getting a system going though so I'm sure next week will be much cleaner - for me anyway.

Dotty is very soppy and lovely but It's actually nice not to be their owner (although I would have Wilson at the drop of a hat - I adore him). it's great to be able to hand them over, put things back where they belong, take the covers off the furniture, and put my flat back the way I like it.  Dotty and Wilson get on so well together and they chase each other around the place like loons. Wilson runs like a bullet from a gun so he can pick up some speed. He's a miniature wiry-haired Jack Russell and amazingly well trained considering his owner is never in.

So I finally got my dream of having a puppy; except he's a puppy that I hand back at half 6 every day. He really is my dream dog and is exactly how I imagined my dog to be like. What I'm hoping is that one day she'll say "you know, he's much better off with you; maybe you should keep him". I know it's unlikely, but I can dream can't I?

Man Up Woman!

I write this post from my new flat. I'm sitting up in bed on a grey and dreary Saturday morning in my toasty new bed that arrived yesterday. I haven't written a post in bed since before I moved in with my old bf. 

His bedroom was pretty dark and boyish so not the place I ever wanted to linger of a morning - I used to head to the living room as soon as I got up as it was a bit brighter in there. Basement flats are a bit dull like that.

My best friend is coming to visit for the weekend and later this evening up to 15 laydees are coming over for wine and cake to warm my new flat.  I still need some more furniture, the landlady has done a shonky job on painting the place (woodwork gets sanded first people!) and  work has been scant this month so I'm skint - but I am all settled and as happy as I can be in the circumstances.

my ex came over yesterday as he helped me put up the bed. Our relationship is now in the realms of tricky and grey. I don't know if he's my boyfriend or if it's over. Did we call it a day or are we seeing how things go now I've moved out? We're actually getting on very well now - no bickering because there's no point. 

I thought I'd feel free and happy once I'd moved in and I don't somehow. Maybe it's because someone else is helping pay for the flat that I know it can't last for ever and I'll have to move again. Maybe it's because I thought I'd found 'the one' then it went to shit. Maybe it's because I don't have familiar things around me so feel a bit adrift. I know I miss Dillinger - I don't feel lonely but I do feel alone. 

I don't feel completely discombobulated, but I do feel a little out of sorts - yet I don't quite know why. I'm a little sad to find myself back in this position ("hello back where you started, I remember you") yet I chose to do this cos things definitely weren't right and I wasn't happy. Tip: if you're not sleeping with someone then you're not really in a relationship, you're in 'other'.

Last night I decided that Martha Gellhorn or Bette Davis wouldn't sit around feeling glum and out of sorts; they'd tell me to man up and pull myself together. So this is what I will do. I made the decision to leave, I know it was the right decision, so now I will get on with it.

Maybe to feel more settled I just need more furniture... or a dog.

Sand, Sea And St Ives

Well although I got back from Cornwall on Sunday, 2 busy days later it feels like it was a week ago! The visit was perfect and it was great to see my friend again; we hardly ever see each other but she's very easy company and we get on very well. The 12 hour coach journeys also went much quicker than I thought, but I'm guessing the Valium helped!

Although I was only there for a total of 3 days and I checked my emails while I was away, I did feel like I got a proper break. We had breakfast on the Harbour front, drank wine every evening and spend all day on the beach (may I say now that I'm glad Brighton beach is stony cos that sand gets EVERYWHERE!) amazing how easy it is to spend 3 days doing sod-all in the sun.

Cornish Girl did keep muttering about OCD because I was obsessed about not getting sand stuck to myself; which is a futile task on a beach covered in it! It kept sticking to my suntan lotion and I was constantly trying to brush it off. I am now exfoliated within an inch of my life and have a pebble-dash tan. I also fell in love with their dog Buzz - when I left me and Buzzy Boy were LIKE THAT (crosses fingers)

The St Ives seagulls are totally psychotic though; Brighton gulls are noisier but those West Coast bad boys outviolenced our Sussex lads wings down. They literally dive-bomb your snack treats nearly taking your eye out; it was like being under siege in the Battle of Britain. One small boy was running after them on the beach waving his dirty grundies shouting "eat my pants! go on, eat my pants!" which was inventive...

Some Americans took over the beach near us and managed to quickly clear the area; they were about as welcome as an STD. They were drinking warm Fosters (a child's beer) had a radio playing cheesy music and they spread themselves over a large area to play a game of bat and ball. They marked out a court and loudly debated the rules and 'the zones'. I have never seen anyone take the fun out of a game so rapidly or at such volume. They were the only people on the beach engaging in competitive sporting activity and we left before they were Cornish pastied to death by the locals.

Typically, Tory man couldn't wait until I returned and got together with someone else - this was a bit of a shame as I would have liked the chance to have gotten to know him better then rejected him. I doubt it would've worked out as he had far more money than I do (I hate a huge imbalance, it makes you feel poor or indebted) lived outside of Brighton, was 11 years older than me... and he voted Conservative! He also would never have been allowed across the threshold of some of my friends homes which could've been inconvenient.

So my record of never getting past the 2nd date still stands - I wonder if I'm just unlikeable or unfanciable? Who can say; I read about (or know) some people who haven't had a boyfriend or sex for years and I can't imagine such a thing. I do sometimes think what I'm looking for is so rare that most people are lucky to ever find it. I have another 2 dates lined up for later this week though so no hanging around for me! One has to get ones money's worth I feel.

It was a great holiday and the weather was amazing, but it's also lovely to be back home as well. I picked up 2 new clients last week and another one today so I've got lots of work on. I also really miss Brighton when I go away - I actually think I love this town more than I've loved any man.

DIY Cheeryness

Today I'm in an irrationally bad mood if truth be told. I think I'm coming down with a cold; my throat is sore, my head is fuggy and I feel a bit irritable - in general my week has gone well so I'm going to write a post about how good things actually are along with some cheery pictures in an attempt to psyche myself out of it.

I landed a big client this week; it was someone who I first met last July and they recently called me to ask if I was interested in taking them on as a client. The starting fee is remarkably good so this means that I should be able to save money and move a lot quicker than I thought; I'm very excited about it but I've always been an impatient person so it can't happen soon enough frankly!

I'm also leaning back towards getting a cat when I move because, as much as I'd love a dog, it is such a huge decision that it needs to be right.

One of my landlady's cats has kind of adopted me and we snuggle up together on the duvet; but sometimes I miss my own cats so much that I can barely breathe. As much as I'm fond of this cat, it turns out you don't really have the same kind of connection if it's not yours. Having a cat brought me such happiness that it just made everything else ok; I can't say I'm lonely, but without my own pet I must admit that I sometimes feel alone.

My freelancing business is going very well (despite this being a month of skintness) I've worked extremely hard and am enjoying a level of freedom that I once only dreamed of having.

Today I'm writing the final newsletter copy for a new networking group that I'm launching in February, and I also completed my very first tax return yesterday - so am now an official bona fide grown-up!

That's about it really; my family, although often infuriating, somewhat insane and useless with technology are all healthy and love me, my social life is as busy as I want it, I have some good friends and, apart from the sniffles and a dodgy back I'm in good health - I could do with losing some weight but overall it could be worse.

Well, I'm happy to report that I do actually feel much better now; I think a quick burst of some perky music and the jobs a good 'un!

I Wish, I Wish, I Wish...

In the last couple of days I've been poorly so have been both semi-delirious and had too much time on my hands; during this time, I have made 3 wishes:

1) I am going to complete the 'Race For Life' -There is quite a bit of cancer knocking about in our family and I will be lucky if I manage to avoid it myself. I also want to have something to aim for, need a reason to exercise and 5 kilometers is not far... plus I can always walk it! 

2) I'm going to have a go at making a quilt - I sometimes do a bit of knitting but it's not something that I shout about. I like making things, quilts are lovely and it would be really nice to have one that I designed & made myself. If I'm not too bad at it and I finish it before I'm 80, it might also be nice to make one for someone else. Therefore I am going to start one in my spare time (when I'm not being a freelance mogul that is) 

3) I would like a dachshund - This one is more of a dream though; having a dog is a massive commitment and not a decision to be taken lightly, I have been considering it for quite some time, but if my job is still as virtual when I finally move, then I may see about giving one a good home. 

As I've always considered myself a very good pet owner, unless I can give the dog the time, training, exercise and attention that it needs then I'll stick with cats. I know they are prone to back problems so that's a consideration, but a small dog is better suited to Brighton and I like this breed very much. I've seen a couple of them around town so could speak to their owners about their experience and get advice. 

The last wish may or may not come about and is entirely dependant on time, finances and where I live; but as a freelancer I should be in a perfect position to be able to give a dog everything it needs - and if there's any doubt that I can't then I won't be getting one. If I can provide a good home for a dog then I can also take it to my parents and I won't have to worry about it being hit by a car because it'll always be on a lead. It's still a big decision though and would never be made on a whim.

Here's hoping though, and I promise to keep you updated on all 3 wishes!

Watch Your Step

Annoyance No 4 - dog shit on the pavement


Yes, it's lovely you have a dog, I actually love dogs too - my flatmate has a very sweet dog and sometimes I take her for a walk. Only when I take her out I clean her shit up, because otherwise I'd be a dirty, rude, contemptuous arsehole like you!