Girl Crush - Carine Roitfeld

I don't know much about Carine Roitfeld except that she was Editor-in-Chief of Vogue Paris, but what I do know is that this 58 year old woman looks absolutely fucking awesome.

I mostly think the world of fashion is a load of expensive pretentious nonsense but Carine not only looks cool as fuck, she looks like she doesn't take any shit either. 

I love her dress sense and love the black slash top and pencil skirt she was wearing in today's Sunday Observer Magazine. I don't care even what she's like or what she's achieved - I just wish I was a cool as she is. 

* She's nearly 59!

Trajectories

I just read that Whitney Houston was found dead in a hotel bathtub yesterday aged 48. Obviously I didn't know her, but that doesn't stop me thinking how sad it is. 

When I was in my early teens I used to go round to my friend Sylvia's house and watch MTV. I remember us watching her bounce around singing 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody' and she was all bright eyes and bushy tailed. She was very young, clean and fresh - my friend and I thought she was absolutely beautiful.

I've never bought one of her records, nor have I particularly followed her career but it was clear to see that she turned into a very troubled woman, supposedly led astray by her husband. Her descent from bright young thing into deluded haggard mess did appear to correlate with her marriage but who knows.

The reason her death also resounds with me is that my step-cousin Sean was found last week frozen to death in a church doorway. I remember him from when we were little - his Dad married my aunt and he and his younger brother and sister came into our family. He was only 2 days older than me so we were in some of the same classes at school. He was very lively but we all used to pay together very happily.

Sean was always very troubled though looking back; all 3 of them were I guess. Their Mum was unfit and their Dad eventually became an alcoholic and my aunt divorced him. Sean was naughty at school and by the time I left my home town aged 23 I had no idea where he was. He had gotten into drugs (rife in our area) and once Sean became an adult, my aunt had to start thinking more about damage-limitation to her younger children.

To be honest, I rarely thought about him. We weren't close, he was a liability and he wouldn't accept any help or advice from his family. They loved him very much but over time he ostracised them all, burnt every bridge (or thought he had), and put his family through hell. I hadn't heard his name mentioned for many years until one of my cousins called my last Wednesday to say he was dead.

He'd moved to another city and had been working for the homeless charity Emmaus. He had a place to stay, a job with them, and had started to work as a counsellor for other homeless people. I hear he had been clean of drugs for a couple of years, but that he still drank. Apparently he has been described as an 'all round nice guy', which I remember was never really the problem.

There hasn't been an inquest yet, but I'm guessing he was drunkenly making his way home in the snow, sat for a while in the church doorway and hypothermia got the better of him. Not a bad way to go in terms of dying I guess, but not a good way to go in terms of living. 

So sad and needless all round really. I'm not devastated by either of their deaths, I just feel that it's all a bit of a shame when you remember how they used to be all those years ago. I know we all have to go at some point, but there's no sense in playing on the motorway.

Girl Crush - Joanne Lumley

In stark contrast to the last post and to show that I hold some women in very high regard, I'm going to do a short series of girl-crush posts. 

Not that I actually fancy these women you understand, I just think they're brilliant for one reason or another. The series will be quite short as there's not that many women I have girl crushes on!

Girl Crush No 1 is Joanna Lumley. My heroic worship of Joanna is based solely on her ability to remain unflustered and poised in the face of adversity. She has been campaigning hard for the rights of Gurkhas who, having fought hard for our country in various wars, have been denied the right to actually live here.

Watch the video and learn ladies. This is how you get your own way.

Last of The Hollywood Greats

I've just found out Elizabeth Taylor has died and I must admit to being utterly gutted. I didn't know her personally obviously but as a lover of old Hollywood she came very high on my radar.

Not only was she beyond a doubt one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, she was also feisty, opinionated, determined and dedicated to making a difference. I've read a few biographies on her and really admired her; in fact, I thought she was an incredible person.

I'd thought recently that she would probably go soon but I also kind of expected the old dame to last forever. Now that she's gone, I can't think of any old school Hollywood icons except Lauren Bacall - they're mostly either homogenised bland yo-yo's or technically good actresses but not great Hollywood stars like Joan Crawford, Elizabeth Taylor, Greta Garbo, Bette Davis, Rita Heyworth, Judy Garland, or Marlene Dietrich.

I've very sad to see her go. Liz, you were a bloody star.

STG's Post - Celebs, Chiropractors And Cats

Hey girly; been pretty manic this week so my apologies for the overdue post.

You haven't really missed anything, it's been raining and a bit windy so obviously we're on panic storm alert as Britain is unable to cope with any variables in weather - even though we're a country that is and has always been home to various assorted types of weather. 2 guys did take the opportunity to use the tad breezy conditions to kite surf over Worthing Pier however!

The main topics of conversation in the media this week, have been Jordan on 'I'm a Celebrity...' (frankly I've barely taken notice as she's a fame-hungry, high-maintenance, waste-of-space publicity whore who can't fart without having to ring the press) and whether Jedward on the X-Factor are rubbish; I don't watch it any more as I decided that even I had to draw the line somewhere as that by watching such lowbrow, tat I was contributing to the homogenisation and lowering of standards - even though I like watching ANTM, Worlds Most Amazing Videos and Ghost Hunters! The consensus in case you're remotely interested is that yes, they're talentless wankers - so will probably win it.

Work is fine; I need a few more clients so will be doing some marketing this weekend, I'm going to see the new Coen Bros film on Saturday and that's about it really. I fucked my back again so had to see the chiropractor twice in one week (painful both in wallet and reality) but It's kinda ok again now. I still firmly believe that you have to be fantastically good-looking to become a chiropractor as mine is deeelicious - In fact I recommend everyone throws themselves down the stairs just so he can give them the once over!

I've been missing Dexter a lot. Sometimes it feels like he never existed; I keep dreaming about him and then wake up upset as it feels like I get him back only to have him taken away again each morning; that feeling hangs over me for most of the day like bad dreams do. Because he replaced Fraidy, it's like they've both died again - I'm very much a pet person and feel like I have no purpose to be honest. I can't have a pet here so I'll have to wait, but I'm finding it hard if I'm truthful.

I'm enjoying reading your Blog; sounds like Amman is an amazing place and I really wish I was there with you; I miss you loads but hope you are enjoying yourself. I can't believe that things are so cheap there - more photos of everything please!

So until next week my Star Trek friend... x

The Past is Another Country - They Do Things Sexier There

Raisin Wears Bikini

Who Ate All The Pies? Not Jennifer.

Dressed By a Blind Sailor

You Know How to Whistle Don't You Steve?

I intended to have a really long lie-in this morning but Dexter put a stop to that with his tail-chasing, nose-licking, so I decided to get up. After an alternative breakfast of cold rhubarb crumble I settled myself on the sofa to get on with some 'business' work; which obviously turned into some time-wasting Internet browsing!

However I have now become completely engrossed with watching Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart's incredible chemistry in 'To Have and Have Not' and am totally mesmerised. Along with a young Elizabeth Taylor I think she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She was only 19 when she filmed it yet she has such a natural, confident sexiness that she seems much older. I once read she got her distinctive husky voice by screaming into the wind!

I also love her outfits too: fitted jackets and pencil skirts, set-wavy hair and the highest heels imaginable - it's like that toned-down Dita Von Teese look which I also think looks stunning. How is it that women in earlier eras always managed to take more care of their appearance? If tracksuits were around would they have worn them? I can not imagine Joan Crawford or Elizabeth Taylor lounging around in Juicy Couture!

Ms Bacall you're amazing; Bogie.. you can just go whistle!

Hello Dolly!

Dolly Parton - I decided today that I would write about someone that I liked. My 'like list' is longer than my 'wanna punch ya face in' list so I guess I'm not a complete harpie who hates everyone!

I think Dolly is just amazing; she's a 'girls girl' who just seems like a really nice person. Even though she looks like a drag queen, she comes across as the type of person that you would like to hang out with, that wouldn't bitch about you behind your back, and who would cheer you up with really good advice.

Although contentious, I firmly believe that the song she wrote 'I will always love you' from the film The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, sounds so much better when sung by her than by Whitney Houston. Admittedly Whitney blasts it out and has an amazingly powerful voice, but when Dolly sings it you just want to cry it's that beautiful.

Ironically Dolly seems really genuine despite being physically fake in every way (as she says "it costs a lot of money to look this cheap") She gives away loads of money- her literacy charity 'Imagination Library' which sends one book each month to children from the time they are born until they enter kindergarten has just come to Britain and, although her face looks like you wouldn't want to get it too close to an open flame, she seems warm friendly and utterly likable.

Dolly, you fucking rock.

You Pratty-Watty

Russell Brand - It's not even the crass, misogynistic comments to Georgina Baillie's Grandfather that showed you up as a puerile, vulgar prat; it's not the faux, cockney accent or the fact that you look like a grubby, sleazy sex-pest who would try to touch a girl up then attempt to make them look like a prude who 'can't take a joke'.

It's not even that you're a cheap slut of a man who's slept with everyone, or that you're a boring, untalented, shouting moron, it's not the awful clothes, greasy beard and guyliner - It's that you are simply the most irritatingly arrogant show-off with one of the most punchable faces on television.


That and the fact that you're a bit of a cock.

Ready, Aim, Fire Mariah

Mariah Carey - No Mariah, you are not a cute little 12 year old girl who 'butterflies follow everywhere' you are in fact a dippy, shallow, pretentious 39 year old gimp who just happens to have a singing voice that some people like.

You do not need 11 bodyguards to surround your restaurant table so the hoi polloi can't see you eat, your Jack Russell does not need it's own private jet, you don't need someone to hold your cup whilst you sip through the straw, and it's actually quite rude to appear 90 minutes late for an award ceremony because you broke a nail.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the World, I can't help but cry; I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff" - Maria, you are pointless pinhead.

Not Just a Stupid Face

Peaches Geldof - Peaches has the honour of being listed first simply because I simply cannot bear to look at her clueless, irritating, simpering, hamster-cheeked face over and above everyone else that I dislike. Peaches was in fact voted the 2nd most annoying person in Britain recently - I demand a recount!

When you combine a jaw-dropping lack of talent, overdosing on drugs then acting outraged that the ambulance services were "invading her privacy", calling the Australian press c***s for wanting to take her picture, being booed by Chester French fans after running on stage during their set and making an exhibition of herself; it all adds up to one immature, bratty, gormless, dunce who receives far more publicity than she deserves and only further reinforces the fact that in today's society you can be famous for simply being a self-obsessed, pointless, vacuous waste of space.

Celebricide

Righty-o; I've been having a think about it and have decided I'm not done with the annoyance - the 21st Century is so consumed with shallowness and superficiality that I just don't think I can let it lie!

My personal belief is that people should be able to live their lives exactly as they please. As long as they're not hurting others then everyone is entitled to go about their merry way. I firmly believe this, yet I also believe that everyone is allowed an opinion and, if you live your life in the public eye, parade yourself on reality TV or push your shameless, self-promoting ways into the faces of others then everyone else should be equally free to comment on it.

There are some show-offs so irritating that they deserve a mention; they're not murderers or fascists, but their pointless banal presence alone is crime enough to make them a target for my disdain. S this week I'm going to have a go at a few of them.