A Farewell to Festivals

The Main Stage before the festival opened

On Wednesday I got back from the Green Man Festival I work at each August and I've firmly decided that I am never doing it again. Although it wasn't the mud-fest that was last year, I'd made my mind up before the main work actually started to be honest. I think it must be like childbirth where people forget how awful something is in order to be able to go through it again - it's noisy, dirty, I'm not fussed about music (more of a film gal), it's exhausting, I get completely 'peopled out', and the toilets are rank.

The main thing for me though was that both my businesses are much more successful now and I actually turned down more work than I made doing the event - and I wouldn't have had to work 14 hour very stressful days in order to make that money either. I can't help someone with their business at the detriment of my own so that was the nail in the coffin for me.

Patti Smith opening the festival

There was also the usual incompetence of not only our own department but most of the other ones as well as the stupidity of most of our staff. It never ceases to amaze me how they fail to understand the paperwork each year and that they only get their heads around it on the last day. Our intern said we had the most obvious and straightforward documents she'd ever seen and even she was astounded at how many mistakes and omissions they made even though they'd been briefed many times both one to one and in groups - plus most of them worked the event every year! It was like they'd never seen a bar in their lives.

I'm so tired of this shit now. 5 years and nothing ever changes. 

There was one main memory of the 11 day stay there that was simply incredible though. One evening a woman I know who works with the National Trust showed me how to listen to bats on a 'bat detector'. We stood on a stone bridge over the river Usk under a full moon and I listened in amazement to the clicking of bats as she slowly went through the different frequencies they transmit at... and then we saw an otter in the river. Apparently it's very rare to see an otter swimming in the wild here so I feel very lucky even though I didn't know it at the time.

Batwatching under a full moon by the river Usk in wales

I didn't actually have to go and work at a festival to see this as the river is always there though! The other thing I particularly like about the festival site is seeing the mist roll down over the top of the Sugarloaf mountain. It never fails to enthral me and I could sit there all day and watch it. It's beautiful. I'm not particularly at one with nature I have to say - in fact my first thought when I saw the otter was "I bet that water is freezing, poor little fella". 

So that is it for me. I'm knackered so am taking a few weeks off to chill out and get a new venture off the ground. I'd like to make a fair amount of my future income from paid downloads and affiliates so I'd like to get my new project properly up and running before my work all starts again in October. I've been given this great opportunity to take time off so I'm going to take full advantage and make a great site and product instead of trying to squeeze it in between work commitments. It looks like I have a new event co-ordination job from Oct to March as well which culminates with me going to the actual event in Austin, Texas. Pretty fucking exciting.

A giant Green Man that they burn at the end of the festival

I've also decided that I want to make some changes to the way I run my businesses because soon I'll have three of them. I live by the sea but don't take full advantage of this so I'd like to get up and go for more walks down the beach before I start work in the morning. I love it down there and I always feel so much better when I go. I often just get up, commute to my kitchen or dining room table and stare at my laptop for 10 hours which is no good. I do get a huge amount of pleasure from work but this blubber aint gunna shift itself and I get some really good ideas when I stare out to sea. A journalist friend once said that about a centimetre above the horizon is where all the ideas lived and he was correct.

So all good on all fronts really. The plastic nose strips worked on the snoring boyfriend so I can actually sleep through the night when he stays now, all my businesses are booming, I have a great flat, adorable kitties, I live in one of the best places in the UK, I have brilliant friends, my hair looks amazing, Ryan Gosling exists, and I know what I want. You can't ask for more than that. 

It's great to be back people!

Mud, Mud, And More Mud

Little tiny Van Morrison

Long time readers will know that I work for the bars department at the Green Man Festival each August. Because I'd been so busy (read crap) these last few weeks I hadn't had time to write up the event so I thought I'd do it now while I was on a roll.

It's an understatement to say that I'm not much of a festival-goer as I hate crowds, mud, and public toilets - which I stay in a little cabin called a BunKabin during my 11 day stint. This is a little diddy cabin with a coupla beds, a desk, a loo, a radiator, a sink, and a shower. It's frankly a godsend and I would refuse to go if I didn't get one! 

Last year was lovely and sunny but, as in 2010, this year was a mudbath. Oh yes, whilst the rest of the country sweltered in a mini heatwave, I was up to my arse in stinking mud. In fact I had to endure BBC articles asking "how do we sleep in this unbearable heat?" when I was being rained on. Well it was Wales after all.

Apart from the mud which smells a bit fishy after a few days (who knew?) the festival went well. My job went very smoothly as usual and the event itself was a resounding success. Van Morrison headlined this year which was actually a bit of an anti-climax. 

Sadly he just hasn't got it any more, so when you're hearing him blandly sing "The Way Young Lovers Do" from Astral weeks when you've heard him energetically belt out the original, it's a bit sad. He hasn't got the lungs capacity to give it what it needs any more so he's just singing the song rather than feeling the song if you know what I mean?

I also had a really infuriating intern who couldn't somehow understand how to do an inventory. He over-complicated everything and got completely caught up in the details which you can't really do in events - you have to pick your battles and keep any eye on the big picture otherwise you go off chasing after fluff and the whole thing goes tits-up. 

He kind of got it around halfway through but at one point I thought I might actually kill him. Luckily  my colleague who works with the staff took him off my hands most of the time. He has much better people skills than I do which means he can handle people's nonsense better than I can. Saying that, my colleague did at one point tip everything out of all the crates in to one big pile and started hurling things in to demonstrate how to do the bloody inventory.

Clouds across the arena

Wales is very lovely though and Brecon really is something. Often the clouds were tumbling over the top of the Sugarloaf Mountain and actually floating through the main arena in the morning. Wales is notoriously wet as well and it lived up to its reputation this year. Strange really as the UK isn't that big compared to other countries, but the weather really does vary from one end to the other. We get the best of it in the South East luckily.

So overall the festival was great. It's my 4th year of doing my job there so it runs pretty smoothly now. It went really quickly but I have to say that I was really happy to come home. 3 days before I was due back I walked into the catering tent and exclaimed "get me the FUCK back to Brighton". I do love this festival but I am always, always very glad to come home.

Rockets, Wales, Druids And Urinators

I had such good intentions to write up my training weekend in Wales but I've been so busy this week that I've not had time until now. I'm helping to organise an event to mark the end of the Brighton Festival and that has taken up every minute of my time this week. It's fun though - I love organising events but they're very intrusive and take over your life!

The weekend went very well despite it being a wet start. I got a lift up with a guy who works in a different department. I'd met him a couple of times but until the (4 hour) car journey had no idea that he was a raging bigot and racist!

Oh yes, I got to hear all about how the Polish and other EU Nationals were coming over here and claiming benefits, how the homeless choose to live on the streets, how young girls get pregnant so they can get a council house, how the 'wrong people' were breeding, and how the thousands of dying children in the 3rd world were a result of natural selection and we shouldn't help them because their governments were corrupt. 

Now I've been described as a 'Daily Mail Reader' by friends because I think people should be held accountable for their actions. I believe there should be consequences for the things we do, and the 'poor me, not my fault, not my job', attitudes are simply not good enough. However his opinions were highly offensive and the journey was a nightmare. I got a lift back in another car to London then caught a train back home from there instead of returning with him.

We had to partake in Team Building exercises which I'm not usually very keen on. This time however we got to have a go at archery and the tasks were a bit more cerebral. Working out how to protect an egg in a rocket that was going to be shot up as high as a house for instance. It turns out I am a crack shot at firing a gun - I was good at the axe-throwing we did on an adventure day last year, but I was so good at firing an air rifle I won a prize. Incredible - I have a useless talent!

Luckily I also managed to get a room to share with just one other girl. She is also very sensible and boring so I got some sleep - I had also bought earplugs which helped! The 3 girls in the room a couple of doors down however were rudely woken in the night by the sound of some bloke pissing in their waste paper basket. They made a noise and he ran off - although nobody knew where to! I would not have been happy about that I can tell you...

The weather picked up on the second day and we could see the hills and valleys near us more clearly. We took a lovely walk to a little nearby pub and 38 of us piled in for dinner. I took myself back to the Youth Hostel at sunset as there were no street lights and I didn't fancy the walk in the dark. I think only 3 cars passed me on the way back it was that quiet.

Another highlight for me apart from the shooting and the lone stroll back was getting up at 6.30 and sitting outside on my own in the quiet. All I could hear were birds signing, the occasional cock crowing, and the sound of the wind. I never get up that early here and it was brilliant. It's never that quiet here either (cars, seagulls, the railway line, people) so I really appreciated it.

On the Sunday we went to the Green Man site and the Druids blessed the festival and asked for good weather. The bloke without the hat is Arthur Pendragon - a bit of an eccentric who thinks he's a reincarnation of King Arthur (like you do) he was a bit stand-offish actually but it was an interesting thing to see and take part in the Pagan ritual. The festival site is very beautiful but it was weird to see it so empty with no tents and stages!

So all in all a pretty good weekend. Wales is beautiful and it was really good to catch up with the managers of the festival departments, but I'm glad I bought my ear plugs, and even gladder that nobody pissed in my room.

Green Man Festival Training Weekend

If you read this blog regularly you may recall that a couple of years ago I went off to Wales for this team-building weekend which is to bring together all the heads of departments to prepare for the upcoming Green Man festival that I work at each August. Last year was just in a pub in London (urban is good) but this year it's back in the Youth Hostel.

You may also know that I don't really play well with others and the idea of a Youth Hostel brings be out in a cold sweat - shared rooms *shudder* and outside shower blocks *shudders harder*. I would not generally be described as a 'team player' by anyone who has met me, so this should be fun. 

Last year I got out of all the embarrassing make-a-twat-of-yourself stuff by pleading 'health reasons'. I do have a bit of a bad back, but mostly I feel that it is bad for my health to be made a fool of. I didn't mind the running around treasure hunt business, but point blank firmly but politely refused to take part in anything that involved me getting too close to another person.

Also last time I resembled a little black ninja (Wales is notoriously a bit cold and wet) only for it to be one of the hottest days of the year. I don't think this will happen again this time but I've prudently decided on layers rather than a black jumper! They said to bring waterproofs but the only thing I have is a cagoule and an umbrella so that will have to do.

Last time one of the girls in my room was so annoying that I wanted to kill her the next day. She came in late at night all drunk and loud and crashed around the room like a prick. This sort of negated the team part of the weekend for me as I never wanted to see her again. And indeed I don't think I ever did. 

The place is absolutely beautiful though. It's in Brecon near the festival site and on Sunday we go to the actual site where Druids (see photo)) bless the area for good weather for the festival weekend. Arthur Pendragon himself arrives - on a motorbike no less - and they do a little Pagan ritual. They did nearly blow it last year though when his mobile went off in the middle of the ceremony. We all stand around and watch and repeat things after him - so like church without the hymns really.

Anyway, I'm off in a short while but I will be sure to report back. I'm also hoping there is no repeat of the embarrassing pants-on-the-bed incident  either.

See You Next Year Green Man!

Well another successful festival later and I am now back at home using my own toilet. The portaloos were cleaned daily and we used the bar allocated ones, but I should admit that a small part of my soul died every time I used them. You may recall that last year the weather was not particularly kind to us and the entire weekend was a bit of a mudfest. Well this year the rain held out and a great time was had by all - even me.

This year we had 2 interns helping us so the workload was so much easier. The day without my intern it took me just over 10 hours to enter all the info from the tills and bar stock, but the day I had her helping me I got that down to six and a half. Not bad. That meant that I not only had more time to focus on my job role I also came back able to speak! Last year my brain was so fried that it took me 3 days to recover and this year I came back as a regular person.

The Festival is held each year in Glanusk Park in the shadow of the Sugarloaf Mountain and the park is very beautiful. The trees there are really old and people live on the land we use. I think they generally either just board up their houses and go on holiday until it's over, or they settle in to enjoy the festival. The mornings were stunning with the clouds often pouring over the mountain but it was so hard to capture it on camera and none of my photos really do it justice.

Although I don't usually get to see much of the festival as I'm working in a cold stone room, on BBF's recommendation I did manage to see the Sunday night headliners Iron and Wine who were brilliant (I'd never heard of them but I'm not that into music preferring film instead so that wasn't surprising)

Their set was so good that the entire arena just sat there mesmerised. I looked round at one point to see our entire team had all turned up and we all sat there together having a smoke and a drink and listened to the set together. This has never happened before as we're usually all off doing different things so it was a lovely way to end the festival.

I had my BunKabin as per last year so I didn't mention that I had a radiator when they all complained of suffering a freezing night. It just wouldn't have been sporting of me. I'm now back, have anti-bacterialised my laptop, had a haircut (booked it in before I went dontcha know), been to see a film (Cowboys & Aliens), have accessed and taken full advantage of my hair and beauty products, caught up with some friends, had a decent cup of coffee, been out to dinner and slept soundly in my own bed. 

It was my most enjoyable festival so far but damn, it's good to be back.

Hey Ho Hey Ho - Off To Green Man I Go

In about half an hour I set off for the Green Man Festival for the third year running. 11 days spent (probably) in the mud with the horror of toilets that are familiar with the backsides of hundreds of people.

I'll try to write when I'm away and post photos where I can but otherwise I'm off the radar again until after the 24th August. I'm pretty sure I have everything - last year I took about 4 pairs of socks for 11 days for some reason but I'm fully socked up this year (sorry) 

So think of me fair readers; spare a thought for a lone figure in a rainy field in Wales getting her wellies dirty and breaking the World record holding her breath in a portaloo. I shall report back anon.

Green Man Update

Well it's that time of year again and I am now working from a field in Wales for The Green Man Festival.  This year is a bit better as I'm no longer assisting and am instead running the office so things are actually getting done in an orderly, sensible fashion.

It's only been 3 days and I'm already dirty, tired and missing heels, make-up and a proper toilet - you may remember from the 5 festivals I did last year, that it's always about the toilets with me! I also really miss my new fella - I'm not really the type of person to miss anyone so this feels quite peculiar and not just a little bit horrid.

Also today my manager drove over my foot in the Gator. I'm fine but only because luck would have it! He's such a liability - he forgot to pick up all my kit when he left as well. I'm amazed he can dress himself in the mornings to tell you the truth. How he runs events is sometimes beyond me... bless him. 

I've also been wowing everyone with my new HTC Desire phone too; everyone now wants one as it can do everything including running a duster round whilst making a Margarita and going down on you - now THAT'S the future! 

Welsh Weekend Jaunt

As you know, last week I went on a team-building weekend for a festival I'm working on in August. I had't been hugely looking forward to it as I'm not really fond of large groups or humiliating myself in front of... well anyone really. But it actually turned out to be quite fun.

To be fair, I could have avoided the entire team-building aspect of it entirely as it's really only a way of bringing you together and breaking the ice, and I managed to inadvertently do that immediately by myself. When we arrived we were the first ones there; the others were coming from London and had left later so were caught in traffic. I picked the room with the least beds in it as I'm not really a 'sharey' person, then unpacked and went outside.

I then considered that the woman organising the event might want that room and she probably didn't want to share with me as she didn't know me, so I moved my stuff to my second choice of room. When everyone arrived later I was told that rooms were allocated and obviously I wasn't in either of my choices but in the one I least preferred. No matter, I duly moved my stuff again and went about my merry way. However later, I discovered that I had misplaced my knickers...

So I had the unenviable task of asking strange women if they had seen my pants. After 2 women I found one who informed me that they had indeed found my smalls on one of the beds - so ice well and truly broken there! The 'adventure centre' we stayed in was lovely and situated in a proper little village with no street lights, sheep in fields and one pub at the end. If you looked out, apart from the pylons, you could have been at any point in history.

The only thing that dampened it a little was that I came woefully unprepared (or over prepared depending on how you look at it) and had bought only very warm clothes - well this was Wales after all! So I ran around like a ninja in entirely black clothes whilst we baked in 80 degrees heat. I had actually bought gloves and a scarf if you can imagine... idiot. I'm well-known amongst my friends for always being inappropriately attired but it's usually because I don't bring a coat not the other way around!

The team stuff wasn't too humiliating and I opted out of any that were on 'health reasons' - I like to think I helped in my own way by taking photos and laughing at everyone. Our team won every task which was good and the day went pretty fast. The next day we went to the site and the Druids blessed the festival so the event would go well and it wouldn't rain (like you do) They had blessed it the year before and it was the first year it didn't rain so fingers crossed! Interestingly they did the same thing last year for Glastonbury and it didn't rain then either.

I'm not sure if it bought me closer to the other managers as I failed to recognise members of my own team later in the day and I found one of the girls highly irritating, but I really liked a couple of them and everyone seemed happy to let me wander off on my own with the newspaper supplement without hassling me which was brilliant - so bring on the festival I say!

Another Week in Wales

The eagle has landed; she has survived 8 days in a field and has now moved house. I will write a separate post about the move, but this is how the festival panned out: 

The Green Man Festival - It was indeed an amazing event. it was well organised and ran smoothly, there were lots of things to see and do and the location was stunning. 8 days in a field however is too much for any city-dwelling gal!

Our office was located in an old derelict squash court which made a novel change from the usual portacabin. It was pretty cold at night and one time a bat flew at my head at 5am, which although unnerving, provided a bit of excitement for 10 minutes. You could also hear the main stage very clearly which was great as you didn't miss anything when working!

Although the festival itself was a folky kinda one everyone was very middle-class rather than hippies. I spend a lot of the time in the film and comedy tents; and it wasn't until Sunday that I discovered a whole secret garden with kids areas and a little waterfall - Glanusk Park is lived in so these were actually peoples gardens; I'm not sure if they went away for the weekend or if they just partied on down with 15 000 strangers! 

For 3 nights I had to work from midnight until 9am and this proved harder than I thought. The first night was freeee-zing, you could see your breath and I was woefully unprepared - it was horrible; also, apparently around 7am I just need to sleep! The next 2 nights were better as I found more layers, and bought food just before the stalls closed at midnight so I had something to eat at 5am. 

I'm still not really into the whole camping aspect and fail to see how anyone could enjoy it. You're basically outside with a thin piece of kagool between you and the freezing night air. As soon as humans could, they build houses and went inside where it was toasty. I love the job I do but dislike where I do it!

Also.... festival toilets - these were pretty well maintained but I saw and smelled things that no lady should have to endure. Toilets are on your mind the whole time and retching first thing in the morning is hardly a pleasant experience. I occasionally got to use the loo in one of the flats and having soap and hot water was an experience close to elation.

On one of the last nights, most of the crew were going home so we held a party to use up all the stock. I instead, decided to stay in the office and watch 'The Tudors' on iPlayer. This is how antisocial I am; and I can honestly tell you that I could not have been happier - it was an hour and a half special! I was completely in my element. 

The walk back through the park with just my head torch at 2am was a different matter and I felt like I was on Crime Watch. I just knew that if I turned around, I would see a werewolf silhouetted against the night sky. I'm not easily scared but I just knew it!

So overall, a really good festival; I am glad to be home with cable TV, hair straighteners, my duvet, and Dexter but it was the best one so far I think. And in 11 days I will be off again, but this time it's the last one.

Next Stop - The Green Man

On Tuesday morning I leave for the second to last festival - The Green Man. This is a 10 000 people event located against the backdrop of the Sugar Loaf mountain in the Brecon Beacons in Wales. The photo above is an arial view of Glanusk Park where it's held.

This is a very established festivals and run very well; we will have showers, the toilets are cleaned twice a day, and we even have a bar in the crew camping area! 

We're running 6 bars at this one and, over the weekend, I will be working from midnight until 9am as we have a 24hr license - so I should get to see a lot of this one!

Apparently there will be a real ale bar, a comedy tent, a communal campfire field, a piano bar serving mulled cider and wine, a science tent, a film tent, a massage and therapy area, a rose garden, a waterfall, and twinkly lights everywhere. Everyone I know who worked it last year says it's amazing! 

It's all getting a bit manic really, as I'm working right up until I leave, working a 10hr day upon arrival; I then move house 2 days after I get back and I haven't even started to pack yet! 

I will of course, be giving you a full update upon my return - I don't know yet whether we have wi-fi connection there so I may or may not be able to read your blogs. If not, then I look forward to catching up on your week when I get back!

Shonky

Well what a bloody nightmare that was; my prediction was utter nonsense and I couldn't have got it more wrong - it was awful!

Although the location was beautiful and the people of Borth were lovely, the whole festival was a catalogue of incompetence and the disorganisation was staggeringly beyond belief. We arrived on Wednesday evening to find nothing in place except for a few portaloos in the middle of a windy field... The event was due to open on Friday.

what we found when we arrived

In fact, it's probably better to just bullet point my list of complaints instead of a long rant; if I start then I'll not know when to stop!

• Upon arrival there was no solid road and every vehicle was sinking and having to be rescued by JCBs - until the JCBs started sinking. The stones were not laid to create a road until Thursday afternoon, and even then vehicles still sank into it.
• Our office was positioned in the wrong place.
• Our office was unsecured as were the back of the bars; anyone could just come in and help themselves or attack and rob the staff. This wasn't rectified until Saturday.
• The marquees weren't put up until Thursday; you can't put bars, staging and lighting into a tent if it isn't there. They were up so late that our site crew had to work until 3am to finish building the bars.
• Someone came into our office and asked to borrow a carton of milk; when I looked round he had stolen the entire case - welcome to Wales!
• Someone broke into the catering office and stole all the food tickets.
• The water pressure was so low that there was no running water for 2 days.
• We had no generator until Friday meaning we couldn't do any work on our laptops. They then removed the generator on Monday morning even though we weren't leaving until Tuesday - this meant we had no phone batteries or ability to reconcile our figures.
• Twice, people broke into another companies bar and drank their stock.
• Their security were aggressive, incompetent and walked around in groups; they often left their posts and herded families around on quad bikes like they were sheep.
• The security detail on our bars were pretty non-existent; when security were finally allocated they were 2 young girls.
• A lighting rigger took down a set of lights, left them face down on the cabling and the heat ignited it... in a tent.
• The organisers let youngsters into the arena with alcohol; this meant they were drinking underage and weren't buying from the bars. This policy is unheard of at properly organised events.
• We had no Internet reception - not the fault of the organisers but still a pisser.
• The ground was so waterlogged that everything sank.
• There were insufficient toilets for the amount of people camping. In fact, there were no toilets in the crew campsite at all.

That's about it off the top of my head; it was not a pleasant experience - plus it also rained!

So overall, the event was not fun in any way and I spent most of it being cold and wet. I couldn't wait to get home to Brighton and civilisation. On the way back in we passed the park where Gay Pride will be staged on Saturday - it was Tuesday evening and the marquees were already up; this is because the organisers are not idiots!

The next festival isn't for another 3 weeks and we've done The Green Man before so know it's a very well organised event. I also need to spend my time getting new clients and moving house. It wasn't all toss though; I did get some great shots for SkyWatch Friday!

Next Stop - Square Festival

Tomorrow morning I leave for Wales for the third of the five festivals I'm helping at. Square Festival is on the West coast, just by the beach (see photo) and looks like it should be fun.

Our license is until 3am this time so I will be working from around 5am until lunchtime; having a break then coming back for a couple of hours around 6pm. I get different sleep patterns at each event, but luckily I have ear plugs and a talent for sleeping!

The rest of the time I shall be able to have a good look at the event which has the Solar Cinema (looking at the forecast it'll be on pedal power!) a comedy night on Friday, a classical orchestral concert in the nearby church, a 'human zoo' where you have to wear an animal costume to enter and a clothes-swap area. It also appears they are attempting to break the World-record for mass skinny-dipping... which I will NOT be taking part in, but I may have a gander for 'research purposes'.

Bit worried about the weather forecast as it does not look very sprightly. I have decided to leave my flipflops, suntan lotion, bikini and sunglasses at home, but I will however be taking my black purple-spotted wellies, brolly and fleecy jamas instead! Luckily they are having lots of drum n bass so I can dance myself warm.

Slightly annoyed about this English Summer washout frankly, as I had made an executive decision not to bother with much sunbathing earlier in the year as it was supposed to be a lovely long sunny summer. I thought I'd have plenty of time and now I only have a sniff of a tan (lovingly assisted by Johnsons) and am left feeling solarly short-changed.

As usual, I will give you a full run-down of the event when I return next Tuesday - they'd better have adequate catering and showers... fingers crossed!