Did You Miss Me?

Hello everyone again. I bet you thought you'd seen the back of me eh? I'm so sorry that I left you. I didn't mean to disappear but it just happened. Part of me thinks that it's only the non-busy that can blog y'know - I have 2 other blogs that I write as I have 2 businesses but I'm going to try and put a stop to that. I have an overwhelming desire to simplify everything. I desperately crave a more balanced life again.

So I'm starting that by making time to come on here and not to leave when I'm busy. So here's a massive brain-dump summary of what I've been doing to get you up to speed:

I'd been trying to sort out my work life for a while now. I have 2 businesses but I like doing one more than the other (which I'm more known for annoyingly) so I've decided to focus just on that and put all my marketing and mental efforts into just one instead of both so I can get my life back. Strangely, once I'd made that decision in my head (which was a coupla days ago) I felt so much lighter. The world seemed simpler and I even started to walk slower and take my surroundings in instead of hurrying around with my head in the future.

I also had the Green Man Festival going on that long-term readers will know that I work at each August. So for 2 months before the event I'd been doing pre-event work plus some extra work the organisers asked me to sort out this year, plus running both my other businesses, plus having a personal life. So there was just no room for writing this blog. Or maybe I just didn't have enough to say to make the room I'm not sure.

Things are still up and down with my boyfriend. Sometimes things are great and some days I want to throttle him. I'm not sure I work well in a relationship. I'm not good with putting up with someone else's shit, and I like living alone with everything how I like it. Here I live in a small, dark one-bed basement flat with someone who also works from home. The flat gets dirty really quickly and is a haven for spiders which, as you know, I'm terrified of. I can't afford to move out, although that's not the reason I stay. 

I think relationships are hard work in general. When you're used to having your own way all the time and not having to take into consideration... well, anyone, it can be hard to suddenly have to do that. I know the things he liked about me at first also drive him mad (my independence, and endearing selfishness to name but 2 things.) He in turn goes in and out of depression (not because of me) which as you can imagine is a right barrel of laughs. 

You can't fix a depressed person it turns out. And I'm not the most sympathetic of people either "cheer the fuck up and sort yourself out" isn't the thing to say apparently. We'll get there I guess - either that or I'll smother him in his sleep. I do love him so we're trying to work it all out - living on top of each other like this isn't helping that's for sure.

Last night a really horrific thing happened. To be fair, it wasn't as horrific as when I opened the back door a few weeks ago on my way to peg the white wash out and a medium-sized garden spider fell straight down my top. That was pretty bad. I let out a rather piercing shriek and hurled the washing to the floor as I panicked and jumped up and down hysterically. No it wasn't as horrific as that, but it did come close.

I was in the kitchen making some toast. I made the snack and went back into the living room. A while later I wandered back with my plate to see one of the biggest effing spiders I have ever seen crumpled up on the floor half squashed but very dead. I realised that I must have accidentally stepped on it while making the toast... in my bare feet.... IN MY BARE FUCKING FEET!!!!

Moving on from that harrowing story (you need to know these things and I need to get it out of my soul), I'm currently watching the closing ceremony of the Paralympics which is amusing really as I believe I was the only person in the UK not to watch any of the Olympics or Paralympics - I do like a good show though and there's nothing us Brits do better than put on a really weird, surreal show for the rest of the planet to puzzle over. My hairdresser said I was the only person she's asked who didn't watch any. I feel a little proud of that for some reason.

So I think that's it for now. I don't want to overwhelm you with so much riveting information that you can't sleep tonight from too much excitement. I intend to come back shortly and tell you more about the festival and other things that I've been doing. This is what I intend on doing anyway... 

Cornwall and Conservatives

I've been struggling to find time to post this week as I've been busier than a one-armed bricklayer in Baghdad. I'm organising 2 London events before I spend 12 hours intimately getting to know National Express on Wednesday morning for my journey to Cornwall.

Also this week, I have landed 2 new clients, been working on my CV-writing website and have been on a date with a blond Tory. He messaged me some while ago and I briskly rebuffed his advances. I told him in no uncertain terms that he had some confidence coming onto a Guardian-reading dating site, that his opening "hello lovely lady" line was shockingly cheesy and that he was also outside the upper limits of my age spec (he's 49) I was pretty curt...

He asked what the chances were of me going for a coffee with him - I said a generous 3 out of 10 but that we should perhaps take our cue from Nick and Dave's coalition and take it from there. So, a few weeks after he contacted me I finally met him for a drink thinking that at least I could get a good argument out of it; but surprisingly we got on pretty well. (One of my friends is worried that I'll marry Tory boy; that he'll be my overlord and I'll be in serfdom toiling the fields in chains, but I have an unbeaten record of not getting beyond a second date so I think her fears are unfounded) I'll let you know how this unlikely scenario pans out.

Star Trek Girl is on the mend and is now in France recuperating from the hideous leg snappage incident before she goes back to Jordan. This means I can now resume my STG posts to her. The amazing woman has bought me a ticket to come and see her for my birthday in November so I'll be travelling beyond Europe for the first time! 

I am so incredibly fortunate to have such a generous friend - although it could be a reward for not tipping her out of her wheelchair... I must admit to missing her already.

I'm getting a bit more into The World Cup; I'm not watching any actual games obviously, because highlights mean I can keep my 90 minutes for something useful and still see if anything happened. The England team gave a dreadful performance from what I hear, but we've always been fooling ourselves that we have any good players. I know he's not English, but I've never forgiven Ronaldo for that wink although everyone else seems to have forgotten it - slimy, metrosexual, gaylord.

So that's about it really; I thought I should check in as I'm not too sure when I'll be able to write properly. I've still been reading your posts though... I always manage to find time for that.

Wake Me Up When It's Over

I'm finding it really hard to get excited about the World Cup this year; I've enjoyed it in the past but frankly I couldn't care less about some over-paid, over-indulged, cry-baby divers kicking balls into a net.

Interestingly I read an article in The Guardian today by Linda Green who says that she couldn't think of worse role models for her 2 sons than men who have been in the news for wife-beating, drink-driving, adultery, visiting prostitutes, public brawling and rape allegations. 

I don't think the entire England squad come under that umbrella but she certainly has a point... Domestic violence does sadly rise by 30% after England matches so it may be a good thing if we go out early.

For me though, I just don't really care enough about the whole thing. Although I predict that the US will win 2-1 tonight and England won't survive their group matches, I'll actually be round a friends house, drinking Rose and watching a dvd. I just hope I can get myself home safely, cos town will be a nightmare whether we win or lose.

Balls to Tennis

Right I'm turning off the TV and going out for the day because I don't think you could find a person in Britain who cares less about Andy Murray.

It's starting to wind me up now; all those people shouting "come on!! you can do it! hit that yellow ball with a bat... yeeeeuuuurrrrr!!!!"

I'd rather fork my own eye out frankly.

Tennis is Arse

I'm absolutely sick to death of tennis being on the TV; people go on about being bored by Michael Jackson but Jeeez....

Everyone seems to love it, but to me, tennis is like a smear test - I wouldn't want to do it and I most definitely don't want to watch it. At least it's only once a year - balls to tennis!