Fancy A Tour Around My Flat?

After 19 house moves, yesterday I realised I'd been living in my new flat for 3 months already. I really love it this flat so thought I'd show you why. Let's start with the kitchen - it's my favourite room even though it looks out on to a business centre so there's no view to speak of. It's south-facing and I've got a little glitter ball hanging in the window and the spangles floating around the room make me feel happy every minute I spend in it.

I only got the (really, really) yellow table a few weeks ago and I love working in here. Before that I had to work at the dining table in the living room but it's a north-facing room and quite cold. Plus I watch TV in there in the evening and didn't want to spend all day and all evening in one room. I'm sitting in the kitchen now actually. I sometimes move the table round to face the window so I can watch the rain or snow, but the sun get's in my eyes otherwise and I can't be bothered to keep moving the blind up and down! I listen to the little radio up on the shelf on the right. It doesn't look much in the photos but it's a lovely room to hang out in.

My meagre amount of cookery books. Note the word 'Greedy' in 2 of the titles. I don't believe I have made one recipe from any of these books although the most likeliest contender would be the meringue one. I can report that the photos in that book are incredible.

This is my beloved printers tray. I've had this for years and is the one and only cluttered place in my entire flat. Well, ordered clutter anyway! I don't like things lying around the place but everything up here means something to me in one way or another. Shells from my friend when she lived in Bali, the name tag of my darling cat Fraidy, things given to me by other friends, rings from my past. All sorts of stuff. This is one of my most treasured possessions.

Still in the kitchen. One has to have a declaration of one's geekness otherwise one would not be a responsible Trekker.

Out on the landing this is where I hang my hat as it were. I bought the box unit for about a fiver and just screwed some hooks in to the side and underneath. Perfect for hats, gloves, and scarves don't you think? People comment on it a lot yet it was cheap as chips.

There's not much going on in the bathroom cos it's diddy. I did buy this fantastic striped shower curtains to cheer up cold winter mornings though. I'm not usually into much colour but something was needed in here. The pink thing is a cupcake shower cap (obviously!) that's hanging on some little stick-on hooks that I put on the side of the cabinet. I do like a bit of extra storage. 

These are the shelves in my bedroom. There needs to be more going on in this room and I'm looking out for a writing desk so I can work in here sometimes. It's also south-facing and now has a glitter ball hanging in the window too. It's lovely and warm and the spangles look brilliant. The picture on the top is the one I mentioned before of (who I think) is a famous female serial killer. Nice.

My bedside table. The crochet flowers I made are a little faded now so I'm going to make some more, and the photo is me with my Mum when I was about 4 and she was 20.

This is a print in my bedroom. It's a photo of a snowy Brighton Seafront that I took with my camera phone a few years ago. Brighton is very photogenic but when I lived with my boyfriend he wasn't keen on having pictures of where we lived. But I can do what I want now.

This is a frame filled with empty sugar sachets from around the World. People have been giving them to me for about 18 years (like you do) so I recently decided to put the most colourful or meaningful or interesting in a frame rather than keep them in a box where nobody could see them. The picture needs hanging and I'm now done collecting sugar! Making this was brilliant fun and people stare at it for ages.

I don't really have any decent photos of the living room. The carpet and suite are both orange and the room can be a little dark so not really conducive to taking a nice photo! It's pretty big, needs some pictures, and has a massive TV which is the best thing. The photo above was taken on New Years Day hence the Christmas cards on the window and the one below is the snowy view of the tree outside taken last month.  

It's great being in this flat, and I adore living here. The neighbourhood is lovely, it's right by the train station and it's nice and quiet. The living room and bedroom still need some more furniture and pictures up but it's a work in progress I guess. I like living here a little more each day and I really hope my client renews the lease and lets me live here another year after this lease is up. For now I'm just going to enjoy it though.

My First Christmas Tree

I love Christmas but my ex, although an armchair Jew, hated it and therefore pissed all over it. Not happy with despising it himself, he had to constantly tell me why it was crap as if repeated slating was going to change my mind. Well I'm sorry but it takes quite a lot to change this girl's mind and I'm not budging on Christmas - so piss off grinchy and cop a load of my new Christmas tree!

Instead of going for a traditional tree I decided to have a modern, minimalist twig tree instead. The main reason was that when I saw it in the shop I fell in love with it, plus I reasoned that (despite the snow on it) I could creatively keep it decorated with other non-festive bits and bobs and it would continue to make me happy all year round. It's bendy so you can twist the branches in to whatever shape you want.

I need some more things to go on it but this is it so far. A couple of people have seen photos and said it looks a bit Tim Burtony, but people that see it in my house say the photos don't do it justice and that it looks absolutely lovely. 

I mean just look at this little fella - what a cutie. The little birds and birdhouses would suit all year round and perhaps the bells might also stay. I'm looking forward to making some paper and crochet decorations, plus hanging up anything small that might look good on it. I like that it's something that can keep me creative. In fact, my flat is still quite bare so I'm already aiming on making some other things to homey it up a bit.

Below are some ideas of things I might hang from it after Christmas is over (use free Picmonkey to make a collage like this). I wanted to have a go at doing something like this before using real twigs. But when I went out, I couldn't find the right sort of trees to get the twigs from! They were all bendy with not enough hooky-bits coming off them and were not fit for the job. Rubbish wussy town trees...

I've always liked simple colour-schemes and minimalist designs so I think this tree suits me down to the ground. I also adore a more traditional Christmas tree with lights and baubles, but this house move has cost me a fortune and I have other things to spend my money on - like presents and food. This tree will be a good all yearer and perhaps I might get another tree next Christmas. Of course I have to put it on the kitchen counter when I have Dotty as I've already found her spread-eagled under it!

Man Up Woman!

I write this post from my new flat. I'm sitting up in bed on a grey and dreary Saturday morning in my toasty new bed that arrived yesterday. I haven't written a post in bed since before I moved in with my old bf. 

His bedroom was pretty dark and boyish so not the place I ever wanted to linger of a morning - I used to head to the living room as soon as I got up as it was a bit brighter in there. Basement flats are a bit dull like that.

My best friend is coming to visit for the weekend and later this evening up to 15 laydees are coming over for wine and cake to warm my new flat.  I still need some more furniture, the landlady has done a shonky job on painting the place (woodwork gets sanded first people!) and  work has been scant this month so I'm skint - but I am all settled and as happy as I can be in the circumstances.

my ex came over yesterday as he helped me put up the bed. Our relationship is now in the realms of tricky and grey. I don't know if he's my boyfriend or if it's over. Did we call it a day or are we seeing how things go now I've moved out? We're actually getting on very well now - no bickering because there's no point. 

I thought I'd feel free and happy once I'd moved in and I don't somehow. Maybe it's because someone else is helping pay for the flat that I know it can't last for ever and I'll have to move again. Maybe it's because I thought I'd found 'the one' then it went to shit. Maybe it's because I don't have familiar things around me so feel a bit adrift. I know I miss Dillinger - I don't feel lonely but I do feel alone. 

I don't feel completely discombobulated, but I do feel a little out of sorts - yet I don't quite know why. I'm a little sad to find myself back in this position ("hello back where you started, I remember you") yet I chose to do this cos things definitely weren't right and I wasn't happy. Tip: if you're not sleeping with someone then you're not really in a relationship, you're in 'other'.

Last night I decided that Martha Gellhorn or Bette Davis wouldn't sit around feeling glum and out of sorts; they'd tell me to man up and pull myself together. So this is what I will do. I made the decision to leave, I know it was the right decision, so now I will get on with it.

Maybe to feel more settled I just need more furniture... or a dog.

I've Found a New Home!

Good news - I have found a new place already. I know I work quickly, but damn I'm good!

It was a flat I went to look at a few days ago and it was perfect. The only problem was that there was no access for Dillinger. Yesterday however, I decided that it felt like it had my name on it, so I emailed the landlady, explained that the situation had changed and that my client would be paying for it but I would be living in it and would that be ok? I figured I had nothing to lose and I really didn't want to be worried about living in a house I shouldn't be in.

She said no worries at all and that she trusted her gut feeling which said that I was ok. I cannot tell you how happy and relieved I am. The flat has a one south-facing large bedroom, a very large lounge, a little bathroom, and a small south-facing kitchen. It is perfect. It's right by the railway station, and right by a little coffee shop. The road is quiet, and she is going to paint it white for me.

The rent is £780 per month of which my client will be paying half. With my income and the money he pays me alone, my rent should be minimal and I'll just have bills and food to think about. I emailed my client to ask if the price was ok and if he minded signing a one-year lease and he said the flat sounded great and to snap it up before someone else did. I don't think he really cares as he just needs a flat for tax purposes. How effing cool is that?

I do feel bad about my little kitty, but he is far more independent than any other cat I've ever had and I don't think he cares where he is as long as he's comfy and someone feeds him. I'd like to travel more next year and, as a friend pointed out: yes I have a responsibility to him but I can't allow the next 12 years of my life be dictated by a cat. My parents said they'll even take him and, although they have 2 large dogs, they also have a 100ft garden leading out to open fields. I think he'll be fine.

Me with short hair in Sorrento a few years ago

I haven't told my boyfriend that I've found somewhere yet - I'm meeting with the landlady again tomorrow to discuss details and deposits and I'll take it from there. We did address our relationship situation today though and have pretty much broken up. I said I'd prefer us to be good friends rather than rubbish partners. We've had a good try and it's simply not working out. He's pretty sad about it but overall it feels like a smooth transition and I think we'll stay friends.

We're also still going on holiday together in a few weeks and are both still happy to go. I said I would buy him out if he wanted, but he said no. I'm pleased that everything seems fine and we're going as friends. There's much less bickering as friends and no expectations on the other person! We're going to Sorento where I've been twice before and I'm really looking forward to eating nice food and reading my Kindle overlooking the bay of Naples with a glass of wine and some cake.

Although it feels sad that something that was once great and could have been greater has ended, I do feel like I'm about to embark on an exciting adventure... and I can't wait.

AAAAAAND Relax...

It's been another busy week for me - because of the whole house-moving thing, I hadn't properly gotten my head down for a few days, so today I have been slaving over a hot laptop trying to catch up with the billions of things I had to do. Saying that, I did go to the cinema on Monday, a friends house for pancakes on Tuesday, out drinking on Wednesday, over to another friends for lunch (more pancakes!) yesterday and out for breakfast this morning - so I guess that's what I've been busy doing!

I love being back in this house again; it's lovely and clean, I can watch TV without losing the reception every 10 minutes and I can wi-fi to my hearts content! My desk is right in the bay window and I've been sitting in the morning sunlight with my solar-powered Flip Flap plant happily bouncing away (the only plant I can keep alive says the woman who has killed FIVE cacti!) I'm a couple of metres above street-level which makes for a nice view as well.

Although I thought I'd be surrounded by boxes, everything went into the attic so I'm actually very comfortable. Despite my pictures and books being in storage, the room is far more comfy that I'd imagined and I've settled back in extraordinarily quickly. Last night we sat in front of the open fire and watched Newsnight whilst drinking wine and eating cheese and biscuits - it was like I'd never left.

Port in a Storm

So I've been in my new place for a week now and I'm really settling in. I live with a woman who runs her own business, her 12 year old daughter (who is like an old sensible lady in a kids body) a woman who works as a care worker who is only around in the afternoon so I've never seen her! and a guy who is staying there a while before he moves into his own place in the new year. It's kinda like a sanctuary for waifs and strays I think!

Although it feels a bit weird being a lodger at 38; apart from the daughter, I'm actually the youngest person there! Plus the rent includes bills and food which means I'm in a great position to get my business off the ground and save to eventually get my own place. Most importantly it's a welcome sanctuary from the place I just moved from - It's homely, cosy and friendly.

It's strange really, as there was nothing tangibly 'wrong' with the last house but it was actually just a beautiful, yet cold and sterile place. It had no personality, soul or character and I didn't feel comfortable there. It would never have felt like home however long I stayed.

I'd had a bad feeling about it before I moved - my last flatmate said she remembers me still looking on Gumtree the night before I moved; but I didn't think for a minute that the bad feeling would result in my darling cat being killed there. I know it could've happened anywhere, but the fact it happened in a place I didn't really want to move to is galling. I'd already said I was going to move out 3 days before he died, but after that I didn't want to stay there another minute.

My room now is half the size of the other one, and the house is very chaotic but it's friendly and I have everything I need - plus it's a house with love in it. I'm also reeeeeally enjoying being so close to town; I literally go down the road, turn the corner and I'm right in the bustle of Brighton. I can just pop out to meet people and be there in minutes yet my street is very quiet. It's perfect.

I feel more settled in this new place than I did in 7 weeks at the old one. We all sit down to dinner every night round the table with a glass of wine and debate this or that issue, we laugh a lot and it feels like home already. I'm so tired of moving but hopefully, the move after this one will be a place on my own. But for now, the new house is just right.

Lost in Transition

So as you know, I also moved house 2 days ago. I arrived back in Brighton around 5pm and decided to go straight to the hairdressers - I was not looking my best and knew I wouldn't have the chance to go for a while... I then went to the pub! 

The next morning I packed up my 2 rooms and moved to Hove (or Hove actually as it's called round here) The house I'm in is lovely, my new flatmate is also very nice (to me but never has a nice word to say about anyone else - including her clients), I'm now right by the sea and I also have a garden; there's no dogs running around all over the house and no poo in the yard - yet I can't quite say that I'm altogether happy.

Because there are other people living here (long story but there's 4 and then soon to be just 3) I feel a bit cramped; I know I'll have to move again as I would like to live on my own at some point. I'm really really tired of moving and know that the only chance I'll ever get to stay in one place for any length of time will be by living on my own. There's nothing wrong with it here, but I know I'll have to move on again at some point.

I also have hardly any phone reception (no change there then) I can't get the Internet in the living room and I also live a bit of a way from town so need to get my bike fixed or spend £50 per month on a bus pass. I'm already watching every penny so I can't really afford this. It's hardly the end of the World but I'm tired of everything being a hassle all the time; everywhere now is a bit of a trek.

Also, I have very little money; I've moved in here without a deposit so I know that I don't have a leg to stand on if it doesn't work out and I'm feeling quite vulnerable about it. I know things usually work out and things turn out ok in the end, but I feel pretty insecure about my future. I know it's probably unfounded but I don't feel I have any grounding - I don't feel in a safe position.

Dexter isn't really settling in very well either; it's only been 2 days so to be expected I guess - it's his first move and he's a bit freaked out by the strange noises going on. I have to go away to the last festival in 10 days and leave him with a stranger so I'm a bit worried. There's also loads of cats round here and I'm scared he'll get beaten up or run over. He's been spending a lot of time hiding under my duvet, so now I have a double-sided furry bedspread!

I guess I just want the quiet life; I long for a nice little 1-bed flat with some outside space for Dexter, a place that is safe and away from the bustle where we can just get on with it and settle down. People say that money doesn't buy you happiness, but I can tell you that money would solve pretty much every problem I've ever had. 

I feel a bit lost.