A Farewell to Festivals

The Main Stage before the festival opened

On Wednesday I got back from the Green Man Festival I work at each August and I've firmly decided that I am never doing it again. Although it wasn't the mud-fest that was last year, I'd made my mind up before the main work actually started to be honest. I think it must be like childbirth where people forget how awful something is in order to be able to go through it again - it's noisy, dirty, I'm not fussed about music (more of a film gal), it's exhausting, I get completely 'peopled out', and the toilets are rank.

The main thing for me though was that both my businesses are much more successful now and I actually turned down more work than I made doing the event - and I wouldn't have had to work 14 hour very stressful days in order to make that money either. I can't help someone with their business at the detriment of my own so that was the nail in the coffin for me.

Patti Smith opening the festival

There was also the usual incompetence of not only our own department but most of the other ones as well as the stupidity of most of our staff. It never ceases to amaze me how they fail to understand the paperwork each year and that they only get their heads around it on the last day. Our intern said we had the most obvious and straightforward documents she'd ever seen and even she was astounded at how many mistakes and omissions they made even though they'd been briefed many times both one to one and in groups - plus most of them worked the event every year! It was like they'd never seen a bar in their lives.

I'm so tired of this shit now. 5 years and nothing ever changes. 

There was one main memory of the 11 day stay there that was simply incredible though. One evening a woman I know who works with the National Trust showed me how to listen to bats on a 'bat detector'. We stood on a stone bridge over the river Usk under a full moon and I listened in amazement to the clicking of bats as she slowly went through the different frequencies they transmit at... and then we saw an otter in the river. Apparently it's very rare to see an otter swimming in the wild here so I feel very lucky even though I didn't know it at the time.

Batwatching under a full moon by the river Usk in wales

I didn't actually have to go and work at a festival to see this as the river is always there though! The other thing I particularly like about the festival site is seeing the mist roll down over the top of the Sugarloaf mountain. It never fails to enthral me and I could sit there all day and watch it. It's beautiful. I'm not particularly at one with nature I have to say - in fact my first thought when I saw the otter was "I bet that water is freezing, poor little fella". 

So that is it for me. I'm knackered so am taking a few weeks off to chill out and get a new venture off the ground. I'd like to make a fair amount of my future income from paid downloads and affiliates so I'd like to get my new project properly up and running before my work all starts again in October. I've been given this great opportunity to take time off so I'm going to take full advantage and make a great site and product instead of trying to squeeze it in between work commitments. It looks like I have a new event co-ordination job from Oct to March as well which culminates with me going to the actual event in Austin, Texas. Pretty fucking exciting.

A giant Green Man that they burn at the end of the festival

I've also decided that I want to make some changes to the way I run my businesses because soon I'll have three of them. I live by the sea but don't take full advantage of this so I'd like to get up and go for more walks down the beach before I start work in the morning. I love it down there and I always feel so much better when I go. I often just get up, commute to my kitchen or dining room table and stare at my laptop for 10 hours which is no good. I do get a huge amount of pleasure from work but this blubber aint gunna shift itself and I get some really good ideas when I stare out to sea. A journalist friend once said that about a centimetre above the horizon is where all the ideas lived and he was correct.

So all good on all fronts really. The plastic nose strips worked on the snoring boyfriend so I can actually sleep through the night when he stays now, all my businesses are booming, I have a great flat, adorable kitties, I live in one of the best places in the UK, I have brilliant friends, my hair looks amazing, Ryan Gosling exists, and I know what I want. You can't ask for more than that. 

It's great to be back people!

Let Me See You WORK It!

As I already mentioned, the weather here in the UK has been sweltering which really does make a change cos it's usually like Greenland here. It's usually all kinds of weather here actually but we normally only get a snifter of sunshine - which we sort of like cos then we can moan about it.

Because it's so lovely at the moment and I'm a freelancer I've been getting up early each morning (7am which is early enough) and taking a stroll down the beach. My main intention was to accidentally get a tan as sunbathing is boring, but seeing as my body is repelling UV rays like white blood cells destroy viruses it's lucky that I actually love Brighton beach as much as I detest walking cos that suntan 'aint happening baby.

As well as seeing all the sad faces of people dragging their heels on their way to work, what I really like is watching all the people killing their knee joints running like sweaty bastards along the seafront. In fact I'm amazed at how many people spend their spare time running and leaping about; it looks like torture to me and in this heat I'm amazed their heads don't explode.

I live very near to a big park and I often pop there of an evening to take a slow stroll round with my headphones on. I am always blown away by how many people spend their entire day at work then go to the park to exercise... for fun I was sitting with my new fella having a little picnic and a couple of gin & tonics the other evening and all we could see were people hard at it.

The view of some punching boxercisers from my bench

On one side there were the very hot rock-hard young studs (my eyes kept straying in this direction) with their weight jackets on doing pull-up reps on some wooden structure, boxercise people running and punching like loons in one direction, military bootcamp people close to death in another direction, and lots of other runners struggling and schlepping around in between - and none of those people looked as happy as we were with our ice-packed drinks, meats and cheeses. Each to their own though I say. I'm sure they were happy inside.

When I go for a stroll there in the evening I do like to take a bench near to the boxercise people so I can watch them stagger around. I never have any desire to join in but I do like to see them suffer. I know a woman who has been going to these sessions for most of this year as well as hiring a personal trainer - I saw her last week and she is much fatter than she was before she started so clearly she's not doing it right.

I was going to write a post about my morning beach walks but I've managed to stray off course there somewhat. I'll write another post on the walk as I have some lovely photos. Brighton is very photogenic anyway but the beach at half 7 in the morning is just wonderful.

I Love The Smell Of Brighton In The Morning

When you live in Brighton, weeks can pass where you don't see the sea.  This is usually down to being busy, being lazy, or being complacent. So for the past couple of weeks my friend and I have been going for morning walks down on the seafront. 

It's supposed to be for exercise but instead of running *shudder* we just do a very fast walk to the Palace Pier and back which takes about an hour. Both being freelancers, we meet in the local park at half eight and set off; my clients hardly ever need me in that hour and frankly they can wait anyway. We don't manage it every day and I'll be honest that I am always the reason for this. Sometimes it's raining, I might want a lie-in, or (mostly) I just don't feel like it.

Lately though I've discovered that I much prefer taking the walk by myself. It's not that my friend isn't good company, but sometimes I don't feel like talking and I want to focus on taking in the morning and being inside my own head.

Yesterday was gorgeous. It was fresh enough to be a little bracing, but not cold enough that my ears rang. I get a great deal of sick satisfaction seeing all the cars and bikes speeding eastwards into town to work, whilst I'm part of the other gang who don't have to be anywhere in much of a hurry!

So I get to see all the people taking their dogs for a walk; dogs of all shapes and sizes proudly sporting their fashion accessories like little neckerchiefs and colourful harnesses. The joggers of all abilities - the Duracell runners that look like they could go on forever, and the short-jog-then-walk-then-jog people who's style I recognise. 

The bit I really like though is seeing the seafront slowly start to come to life. The dreymen delivering barrels of beer to the clubs, cafe waiters starting to put the chairs and tables out, and the artists opening up their studios. I used to run cafe's and bars so I recognise the routine but am so very glad that it's not part of my life any more and that now I just get to watch without having to do all that work!

And of course the sea. Living by the sea you get a massive expanse of sky. A big open space filled with weather of all kinds. Every day (every minute) is different and I love the juxtaposition of the big sky, the long strip of water, then the wide strip of pebbles below. Because it's so open and exposed, you really get to feel part of it; and the changing colours of the sea and sky means the mood of the day is always different. Whether it's windy, overcast, sunny or hazy, it's always beautiful.

Aaaaaand Stretch!

I went to my first pilates lesson last night and actually quite enjoyed it. I'd asked for vouchers for the Natural Health Centre for my birthday and had received £80 worth from my Mum and my Brother. I then used them to sign up to a 6 week beginners course because I'm starting to feel like one of those wooden collapsible toys!

I'm not massively sporty and I shrink away from any hippy-type things - I won't even go near herbal teas, and if I've got a cold I want cold hard drugs not some bloody echinacea.  Anyway, I knew my back wouldn't strengthen itself on its own, so after years of procrastinating, I finally bit the bullet and signed up for a course.

It wasn't actually too bad and, after a short while of having absolutely no idea what I was doing, and once I'd worked out if I was breathing from my ribs, chest or stomach and which bit of my pelvic floor I was supposed to be engaging on which breath, I think I got sort of got the hang of it.  It was only an hour but I felt some benefit and am happy I signed up.

Some people had done the course before so they immediately grabbed the top mats, the best bands and 2 spikey balls that you put under your arse to balance on; and they maintained a serene smug expression throughout the lesson. You could keep your socks on as well which I liked as I'm a bit funny about people's feet and I don't like being cold either. It was raining all evening so I didn't really want to leave the house, but I was glad I went afterwards.

What made me feel really pleased with myself is that this morning I got up and tried to replicate the moves on the front room floor. I figured that there was no point only doing it when I go each week, plus I'd find it easier each time if I'd practised in between lessons. I'm intending on doing the intermediate course with the remainder of my vouchers, so I should make an effort to keep up the daily practice really.

It's been good learning something new, especially something that I'd not normally have a go at. I've only signed up cos my back is weak, but I also don't want to go into my 40's like a creaky clapped-out old banger! Have any of your guys had a go at yoga or pilates or are you all a bit less exercise-shy?

Good Intentions

I've just been for a marvelous early morning walk around Brighton - well I say 'early,' I left the house just before 9am but that is early enough for me. I'd decided that I needed to lose some weight (I'm hardly massive but I thought it prudent to stop it before it gets out of hand) I'm not keen on running but thought a fast 45min walk each morning might be enough to make a small difference. So I got up, put on my trainers and Walkman and set off.

It was more satisfying that I thought possible to see the commuters coming out of the train station and hurrying off to work.  I strode purposely past them down the hill and into the North Laines where draymen were making deliveries, cafes were opening and window cleaners were getting the streets all soapy. 

I went down past the Corn Exchange to the Pavilion Gardens, through the South Laines where fishmongers and bakers were making deliveries and then down onto the beach.There were hardly any people on the seafront and the channel was as smooth as glass. 

Just by walking along the wet shingle I could feel the Resistance tiring me out but I kinda liked it! I then went back up into town and doubled back in a loop to the South Laines again; only this time I went back to the Clock Tower via the little Twittens. I then headed up to the Seven Dials, round the Rest Gardens and it's diddy row of mausoleums, then took a detour off to the left through what must be one of the only streets in Brighton I'd never been down before.

I took a wide berth round and came out by the Dials, went down the hill towards the Station again then came full circle back to the house - I'd been gone an hour and felt fantastic. I absolutely love Brighton and couldn't believe how enjoyable that bracing walk was. It was great to see the combination of people hurrying to work, others chilling in cafes, joggers on the promenade and dog walkers in the park... I felt really chuffed with myself and might even do it again tomorrow!

I Wish, I Wish, I Wish...

In the last couple of days I've been poorly so have been both semi-delirious and had too much time on my hands; during this time, I have made 3 wishes:

1) I am going to complete the 'Race For Life' -There is quite a bit of cancer knocking about in our family and I will be lucky if I manage to avoid it myself. I also want to have something to aim for, need a reason to exercise and 5 kilometers is not far... plus I can always walk it! 

2) I'm going to have a go at making a quilt - I sometimes do a bit of knitting but it's not something that I shout about. I like making things, quilts are lovely and it would be really nice to have one that I designed & made myself. If I'm not too bad at it and I finish it before I'm 80, it might also be nice to make one for someone else. Therefore I am going to start one in my spare time (when I'm not being a freelance mogul that is) 

3) I would like a dachshund - This one is more of a dream though; having a dog is a massive commitment and not a decision to be taken lightly, I have been considering it for quite some time, but if my job is still as virtual when I finally move, then I may see about giving one a good home. 

As I've always considered myself a very good pet owner, unless I can give the dog the time, training, exercise and attention that it needs then I'll stick with cats. I know they are prone to back problems so that's a consideration, but a small dog is better suited to Brighton and I like this breed very much. I've seen a couple of them around town so could speak to their owners about their experience and get advice. 

The last wish may or may not come about and is entirely dependant on time, finances and where I live; but as a freelancer I should be in a perfect position to be able to give a dog everything it needs - and if there's any doubt that I can't then I won't be getting one. If I can provide a good home for a dog then I can also take it to my parents and I won't have to worry about it being hit by a car because it'll always be on a lead. It's still a big decision though and would never be made on a whim.

Here's hoping though, and I promise to keep you updated on all 3 wishes!

Don't Look Down!

I'm on the countdown to freelance at the moment and my thought have been turning to how I'll spend my time after I leave my regular routine. I want to make sure I get into good habits so it'll be easier to keep them going.

There's a few lifestyle changes I'd like to make as well as getting my business off the ground, so my plan of action so far is: 

1. Getting fitter. I've been very sedimentary these last few years; I used to waitress so ran around all day without worrying what I ate - this is not the case any more and I could do with dropping some weight. Therefore I intend to go for a 45 minute jog-walk most mornings down to the beach and back to both clear my head and gear myself up for the day.

2. Getting up later and going to bed later where possible. I'm not an early-morning kinda gal, and my job has meant an 8am start each day - I'm looking forward to knocking that on the head and only getting up before 7 if I feel like it!

3. Moving my head into a better place. Over the last few weeks I have been spending all my spare time reading business advice and gearing up for the change; I read a book last year called 'how to get from where you are to where you want to be' and it was brilliant - it really encourages positive thinking and I had the idea for my business just after I finished it. I've recently picked it up again and have found it's been good at keeping the momentum; I now read some every night as I know that if I lose my courage then I could fail at this.

4. Live in the now a bit more. People are always looking back at what has happened or forward to what they want to happen; it's important to appreciate the now and enjoy the journey. I'm usually quite good at this but can sometimes lose track of life and miss what's happening. It's good to be in the present and appreciate it.

I think that each point is manageable and should hopefully keep me moving in the right direction; it's a very exciting time but a bit scary if I think about it too hard - so my plan is to keep looking ahead and not to look down!

Run Fowrest Run!

I had a bit of a run yesterday. I'll not lie, I'm not really one for exercising as I don't actually like it; but I'm a bit squidgy and there is some muffin overspill on occasion - plus frankly I used to look hotter. I'm not 'fat' but I'm drawing a line in the sand right here.

Now I know that a diet of Cadbury's Creme Eggs and Curly Wurleys is not the best idea, but I like sweet things and I'm just not going to deprive myself of meringues, biscuits and cakes, I'm just not. So I decided that I should perhaps try to cut down somewhat on the sugar (gone are the days when I could literally exist on toffee popcorn and biscuits) and maybe do some exercise now and then.

Some (freaks) people love exercise; the very same people that like cooking I imagine, but I am not one of those people. So when I set off in my new trainers I knew it wasn't going to be fun in any way and by the time I had gotten to the top of the road I was already regretting the decision. I ran to the park then down to the beach for some 'pebble resistance' training; I incorporated a quick lie-down and listen to the waves because it seemed a shame to waste the moment; I then carried on to the pier, up past the Pavilion then staggered up the steepest hill in Brighton to my house. (I say 'ran', it was a small bit of running then lots of fast walking to be fair)

I was not a pretty sight upon arrival; I was flushed, had a banging headache, a bit of a backache and was knackered. I did not have a healthy post-exercise glow about me, nor did I feel particularly exhilarated, full of vigour or raring to take on the World. I hope I get used to it because podgy and I are going to be strangers to one another from now on!

Put The Gun Down Lady

This blog started off being called 'Cashier Closed' as I'm one of those people that get narked about lots of small mundane things; I try not to, but I just do. I decided recently though that I was going to try to be a much more positive person and stop letting those day to day annoyances bother me and attempt to 'let it wash over me', as being annoyed about things all the time is, well... annoying!

This week however I'm feeling a bit arsey; I go back to work on Monday and I don't want to; what I want to do is get my business off the ground and work for myself, I want to find love and not be single anymore, I want to have more money and not be constantly on the verge of poverty, I want to be 30 again and not age anymore, I want to be a stone lighter and want to love exercise instead of hating it. 
Some of these things are doo-able and I'm working on them, and some of them I can't do anything about - but today I'm having a whinge about them.

I've decided that this week I'm going to wallow in my arsey-ness and demonstrate the things that piss me off and then I'm going to shut up about them and get on with it. I'm sure you'll recognise some of the following...