Why Are Women so Hard on Each Other?

I've always wondered why it is that women were so hard on other women. I used to think that it was men that criticised and attacked us but I've come to realise that it's mainly us; we do it to each other.

Maybe it's hard-wired into us because even I do it. I watch the news and immediately assess the female newsreader's appearance and demeanour. "blimey, how much lipstick is she wearing?","what a stupid thing she just said, look at her giggling like an idiot". Why do I do that?

A lot of discussion about women's decisions has come to the forefront lately with the cinema release of 'I Don't Know How She Does it'. It seems the premise of the film is appearances - what will (other mums) people say if I'm too busy to bake mince pies for my kids school? Who gives a shit? ...well other mums apparently that's who.

Working mums seem to be critical of stay-at-home mums, they in turn seems to think working mums are bad parents who aren't fit to call themselves mothers. Nobody appears to have any opinion of working dads and they aren't criticised for 'trying to have it all'. Personally I don't think working mums are trying to have it all, I think they just either need to go to work because their family needs the money, or they like working and want something else to do. 

And who could blame them? I'm sure being a stay at home mum is still hard work but frankly spending all day wiping kids snotty noses, singing nursery rhymes, baking cakes and arranging flowers is my idea of a frontal lobotomy. I'm not criticising women who get fulfilment doing that but it's not for me. Well parenthood in general isn't for me as we all know - it looks horrible.

I seriously doubt that any woman would make decisions she thought were detrimental to her family. Mums only want what's best for their children, but decisions are based on each persons personal situation and no size fits all. So why are women's choices hotly debated and judged by other women? I even get flack for not having any children; I'm selfish apparently because what sort of woman doesn't want to have kids? This kind is what and I'm not justifying myself to anyone.

Why is it that men's roles as parents aren't up for debate? Why is it that women get flack for working (or not) and having kids as well? Men have been working and having families for years without any kind of judgement. 

So are women supposed to be the more hands-on parents because of their sex? Are they supposed to do the lions share of the family work so fitting in paid work is frowned upon? Why is having or not having kids and working or not working an issue with women and not with men?

I asked my best friend what she thought and she offered a few suggestions. One was that perhaps men were also critical of other men but just didn't vocalise it, make films about it or write newspaper articles about it. Another (quite plausible) theory was that perhaps women were just bitches, and the one we both thought was most plausible was that women were trying to justify their place in society and the choices they've made by comparing themselves to other women.

But do we know we're doing it? Women were (and still are in many places) second-class citizens so the last thing we need is to turn on each other. Maybe we have higher standards for our sex because of our history? Perhaps we expect more of each other?  Or maybe it's that we're just bitches?

What dya reckon?

Educated Women Wear Clothes Shocker

I was reading the Guardian online today as I thought I'd update myself on the G20 Summit and the weeks news round-up of political events. The Guardian had decided however that the most important information to impart to us was what the first ladies were wearing and which one trumped the other in the fashion stakes.

So I turned on the morning news and that fine media channel called the BBC were broadcasting Sarah Brown and Michelle Obamas visit to a local school. They hadn't even got a minute into the clip before they were breathlessly telling us what designer Michelle was wearing - because clearly we all must be dying to know.

Sod the fact that Michelle Obama is a Princeton graduate, has a law degree from Harvard and is a successful woman in her own right; I must want to know what she's wearing right? Carla Bruni - a successful model and singer-songwriter she may be, but what has she got on dammit?!

It still never ceases to amaze me that successful women who have reached the pinnacle of their chosen fields - actresses, musicians, sportswomen and even chefs; are still shown on the cover of magazines (men's and womens alike) with half their clothes off, as if their achievements alone are not good enough. The message is they must look fabulous as well to be taken seriously and held up as truly successful... and it bloody stinks.