I Can Has Kittens

Meet Lola and Treacle, my new kitties. Lola is the black and white one and she has a grade 6 heart murmur which is why she is an indoor cat. She could have months or years to live so could live until she's 20 or she could have a very short life - they just don't know. You can feel her little heart buzzing through her chest when you hold her but otherwise she is completely healthy.

They're both around six months old, arrived from the cat shelter on Monday, and have now now completely made themselves at home. Obviously they're spoiled rotten and have copious amounts of toys and accessories including a 5 foot climbing tower, a pop-up orange cube with holes to bound through, numerous balls and catnip mice, and a soft and cosy radiator bed which they both squeeze on to. They are brilliant.

Incredibly they both sleep all night and crash out when I do. I occasionally hear them moving about but they don't run around after each other until I get up. So I get to sleep through the night which is really rare for a kitten owner. They aren't related but indoor cats should be in pairs apparently and these 2 were the right age to come together. Treacle could possibly go out one day but Lola has to stay in.

Although they've only been here a few days I absolutely adore them. Treacle is a little more adventurous and is obsessed with the laser pen (the lazy girls entertainment facilitator) and Lola is happy to stay one step behind. Treacle licks her head sometimes and they play together really well. 

I really hope that Lola lives a long time but my thoughts are that if she's not going to then it's better that she lives a happy life here with me and Treacle in a warm and cosy flat being stroked and loved. She is such a darling that she deserves nothing less.

Star Trek Girl Post - How Christmas Went Down

Hi Star Trek Girl. I hope you had a brilliant Christmas over in Muscat. I'm sure I'll speak to you soon on Skype but here is a run down of how the weekend went for us. I know I've mentioned it before but I do so love Christmas. For me it's not about religion or presents but twinkly lights, candlelight, sentimental TV, and chocolate! 

I think it should be what you make it and want it to be rather than what you think you should be doing or always do - which is over-eating (ahem!) over-buying, spending time with people you don't want to, eating turkey even if you hate it (I am officially the only person left that likes turkey) and stressing out about the whole thing.

Personally I had a brilliant time this year. I think BBF did too - well he seemed to even though he said "every time you tell me why you love Christmas, I'm going to tell  you why I hate it". On Christmas Eve we drove up to Stevenage to see one of his cousins. We were warmly received and stayed for a lovely lunch, then chatted with their 3 year old daughter on her pretend mobile. 

It turned out she had a direct line to Santa but ended up on hold anyway ("press 1 if you would like to talk to Santa, Press 2 if you would like the Elves workshop, press 3 if you think you have been placed on the naughty list in error...") we then left to drive to Nichola's in Milton Keynes where we would be spending Christmas day.

The day itself was really lovely, we opened presents, had a fantastic perfectly cooked dinner that could not have been any better, then we sat around and watched crap Christmas telly which was actually pretty poor this year although it was mostly aimed at children strangely enough. 

Later her family left except for one of her sisters and we watched the worst Doctor Who episode in living memory. It felt like they'd cobbled it together at a lunchtime brainstorming session and had left out anything that resembled tension. It really was noticeably shonky.Then 2 hours of Downton Abbey which again seemed like it was made lazily with them relying on their reputation rather than clever writing. It was all very predictable and tidy but enjoyable anyway.

BBF obviously was not into this section of the evening as he hates that kind of thing but he had a couple of books and was able to busy himself that way. Next we watched the Kick Ass DVD I got from BBF and then the day was over.

On Boxing Day (which is the best day as the pressure is taken off, nobody has to cook, and you can laze around watching TV, eating Quality Street and reading new books) BBF and I drove over to my folks for a spot of lunch and to give them some presents. My bro gave me the most hideous picture frame/clock - I never actually knew that such a thing existed and suspect it was randomly bought last minute from a charity shop which is where it will be returning! 

It was the only duff present I got which was good. Even though everyone says it's not about the presents, it kind of is. If you're going to get a present then it might as well be something useful or something you like. I wasn't expecting anything from him so I thought it was quite funny.

We found out Boxing day morning that one of BBF's friends had finally had their baby after 25 hours in labour. (crosses legs) He was born at 11.59pm on Christmas day - her waters had broken on Wednesday so they were literally trying to drag the kid out kicking and screaming so that everyone could go home and get one with their lives. A Christmas baby is a lovely thing even if you're not that keen on kids though I reckon.

After seeing my folks we drove across to Cambridge to see one of BBF's friends. His sister was also visiting and arrived seconds after we did. The friend has just qualified as a doctor and told us a story of a dying old couple in love that was so sad I actually sat and cried round the table. Somewhat embarrassing but it was one the saddest thing I've ever heard. I think you should face a steep fine for making someone cry at Christmas - it would help with the national deficit no end.

Then after that we drove home. I navigated for the whole trip so I was feeling very pleased with myself. I mentioned to my Dad that I was only a good map reader as he made me navigate when we went away when I was small. He then shattered my memories by informing me that he already knew the way. I had not thought of that. Can you imagine being 40 and not having considered that? I was gutted. I thought he had been relying on my skills the whole way. How gullible am I?

Dillinger was pleased to see us when we got back and I did miss him a bit - noisy little dimbo. He's obsessed with water and enjoys nothing more than sitting under a running tap. This morning I found cat paw marks all over the toilet seat and actually in the toilet basin as well. What a freak. 

So that's Christmas done with and we only have the horror that is New Year's Eve to get through now. I hate New Year'S Eve like BBF despises Xmas. Lots of really drunk people desperate to have a good time - it's always a disappointment and everyone feels crap the next day. I think we're inviting people over but I'm not too sure yet. Christmas to me is lazy and New Year always feels a bit frantic somehow.

And that was it. Today is nice and quiet and I will be spending it watching Jane Austen programmes on catch-up, reading copywriting books, and catching up with craft blogs I imagine. I may even get dressed and leave the house at some point! 

I hope you also had a good Christmas even though you're in a place hotter than the sun. Speak soon my friend! 

Another Cat-Related Post

And it turns out that little Dillinger is not only the thickest kitty in the area, he's also the most expensive.

The poor little fella keeps getting bullied by a new cat in the area and it looks like he's coming off worse. He's had 2 abscesses in 6 weeks and the new one just cost us £200 at the vets getting it sorted. He's stuck inside until his check up on Tues and he's literally climbing the walls.

Lucky he doesn't realise how ridiculous he looks with half his face shaved. He's like a Picasso painting and laughing at him is taking the edge off his constant wailing and moaning... slightly.

He has insurance now but it's £200 too late. I think we should either rehome him or put him to work to contribute towards his upkeep. He doesn't lift a finger around the house and is often a hindrance more than a help when I'm changing the sheets. He's turning into a liability and he's not even grateful.

I'm swapping him for a puppy.

Kitty McThicky, The Stupidest Cat in Christendom

It's official. We are in the possession of the stupidest cat in England, if not the entire World.

Three long weeks ago we bought Dillinger a catflap so he could come and go as he pleased and we wouldn't have to keep opening and closing windows for his demanding furry arse.

But no. Having tried everything we can think of, the dunce still hasn't sussed out what he's supposed to do. This is what comes of getting a kitten from Milton Keynes. 

The problem seems to be that he'll get part of the way through and then when I slowly let the door go, he then back off instead of pushing against the door and coming through. He's not following through if you see what I mean?

We've tried one of us on either side shaking kitty biscuits like morons, pushing him through, using a chopstick, a feather and piece of string to attract him into hitting the door (and the penny dropping when he sees the bloody door open) and trying to entice him through with an expensive can of tuna. Nothing. Nothing has worked.

We're now reduced to propping the catflap open with a bit of cutlery in the hope that he'll suss it eventually. But having a focused blast of freezing winter air shoot into your home through a tiny door isn't ideal and we're not really sure what else to do! None of my previous cats took more than an afternoon to work it out so he really is setting the bar high. 

Frankly, it's got to the point where I'm embarrassed for the both of us.

Lean, Mean Killing Machine

I mentioned that a couple of days ago I woke up to find a small dead bird in the hallway. Well yesterday I woke up, opened the door to the back bedroom and a big pigeon flew into my face. 

I envision the scenario that resulted in a Brighton pigeon being in the window-less back room as thus: 

• He either gets lucky or a long stalk results in him getting hold of said pigeon
• He manoeuvres the pigeon through the 6 inch gap in the open bedroom window
• He manages to get himself and the pigeon through the room without waking me up
• He retreats into the killing room to either play then finish off his victim, or to eat it
• He discovers that the victim isn't dead, it manages to foil his attempts at pursuit and he gives up and wanders off

Clearly little 6 month old Dillinger is living up to his name as a ruthless cold-hearted mercenary and is using the back bedroom as his killing room. But what to do about it? None of my other cats bought in anything as Fraidy would lose face and Dexter was too busy making friends with them.

Cats are wild things and killing birds and mice is what they live for. They'll even take a moth if nothing else is on offer. But this is the third bird he's bought into the house within a month and I'm not keen to spend the rest of his life dreading what I might step in when I get up.

Last night I decided to lock him in but he could bring in a little 'present' at any time. I've always hated the idea of bells on cats but I don't want him cutting a swathe through the local bird population either. Given the choice though, I can't see any other option can you? 

Taking it Easy

I have to admit that I have done sod all work since I got back from the festival last Wed and it has been great! This is due to the fact that I actually don't have much paid work to do and I've also come back with loads of cash so I don't care too much. I've been working on some promotional postcards to generate new business and I have a craft faire to attend on Saturday.

This is my first faire (fair with an e makes it more folksy dontcha know) and I'm going to be teaching people how to crochet. I'm not too sure what I'm doing to be honest but I'm going to wing it as much as I can. I've had my first go at making a crochet video tutorial on Windows Movie Maker and am now certain that I hate both my voice and my hands!

I think I'm just going to bring along things I've made so people can see what kinds of things they can create, print off some how-to guides that I've made and make sure there's some video tutorials on my craft blog so they have something useful when they visit my site. I've already had a request for me to make a shawl, but I think I'll focus more on offering lessons so that I have a life and don't have to charge £150 for a weeks work! I'm pretty nervous about the faire but excited too.

BBF has just left to visit his friend in Sweden for the weekend so I have the entire flat and Dillinger all to myself. Although this sounds nice, Dillinger bought in a little dead bird this morning and left it in the hall for our bare feet to find. The spare room was clearly the place of destruction as the poor little things feathers were everywhere. I dealt with the situation but it wasn't a particularly nice experience.

Yesterday I booked our flights to Rome for my birthday in November. I've never been to Rome but when I've asked foreign waiters I've worked with over the years, what their favourite places have been, Rome always came in the top 3. The Pantheon looks amazing and I want to see the Colosseum too. Mostly though I want to wander around looking at old buildings, drink a fair amount of Italian wine and eat a lot of cake... I'm certain this can be accommodated.

Does anyone know by the way, how come it's suddenly September? 

Yesterday We Had A Street Party

Yesterday our little road had a Summer street party! Usually reserved for Royal Jubilees, most people my age only remember them from when we were young as sadly they don't take place that often any more. But yesterday people came out and put up bunting and flags, a stage and sound system and everyone came out in force to spend the day together. It was really sunny and it was great to see neighbours barbecuing in the street and sharing their food with passers by.

Dillinger was the life and soul of course; even though he's still really small he's fearless and darted around the place making friends and being stroked silly. We were really proud of him actually as it was really loud and there was a lot going on. 

It kicked off around 2 in the afternoon and finished way after 11pm. There were bands all day and some of the local residents even had a go - and surprisingly there wasn't a duff singer amongst them! There was a cracker-eating competition, Giant Jenga, a freecycle stall, a kids egg and spoon race, an embarrassing dancing dad contest, a fuse-ball machine, football, and even a free cake and drink tent! 

I'd been sitting out on the steps with the supplements and crosswords so watched it all unfold from the beginning;  people put tables and chairs outside their houses for people to use - ours was taken over as a salad table by some people barbecuing which worked well when they let us help ourselves to the sausages and chicken! 

I thought it was really lovely that this all came together to create such a fabulous day for us; we were all really impressed with the way it was organised and our fears that it may be a bit naff were happily unfounded. Roll on next year!

Star Trek Girl Post - Carbs And Cattens

Well I've been busier than a one-armed bricklayer in Baghdad as per usual but have made time this evening to write a quick Star Trek Girl Post. For those of you who are not familiar with this, this is where I write a quick open round-up of life in Blighty for my friend who lives overseas. 

Star Trek Girl has a fascinating blog if you are interested where she writes about life where she is currently stationed. She spent over a year in Amman in Jordan and is now in Muscat for 2-4 years. Her blog is all about the culture, the food, the history and the people of the country she is in and it makes for some truly exotic reading.  Although these posts are mainly for her, I am more than happy for everyone to read them!

So my friend, I cannot believe how hot it is over there - 51 degrees sounds pretty icky but you do now have a pool to balance it out! I imagine some major G&T drinking going on in there and I can't wait to come and visit you to see that amazing sea view for myself.  You're not missing much over here; the weather has been abysmal, although I remember last June was scorchio (well tepid compared to Oman but it's all relative after all!) it has been rainy, dreary and a bit cold. Apparently 'the ground has needed it' though! 

BBF and I went up to visit his cousin and their family in The Big Smoke for the weekend and (pathetically) one of the highlights for me was driving over Tower Bridge and then espying the Tower of London! I was beside myself as you can imagine as I've yet to visit it. Just knowing that the place is over 1000 years old is enough to make me nearly wet myself. His cousin is a personal trainer and is pretty Hench (the new word for Buff amongst the kids) and we had a great weekend with them.

After chatting to him about being overweight and unhealthy, I have embarked on a non-carb diet - well way of eating, and am trying to cut out sugar altogether too. I'm completely addicted to sugar and after once reading that 'Cancer loves sugar' I'd mentally decided to cut it out before but just never did. After pinching my back (mortified) he said that my body hated carbs and that I should cut down on them as much as possible if I can.  

So I've given myself a month to cut out carbs and sugar as much as possible - sugar is hard as although I've stopped eating sweets and cake (may the Lord take me now) not having any in my tea or coffee is a step too far. I've got it down to one small spoonful though and I'm going to reassess the situation in one month. I feel really positive about doing it and I've stopped smoking again as well.  Once I see some results I'm going to see how I go but will probably introduce limited carbs again - plus the odd slice of cake I'm sure!

The thought of going into my 40's 2 stone overweight makes me feel shit and I'm going to try and sort it out. Talking to him was a real eye-opener as apparently even semi-skimmed milk is bad for you as they blast it to fuck and the fat molecules get so small they enter into your bloodstream instead. I'm not going full-whack Atkins but just high protein, lots of veg (yes, me) and nuts, seeds and dairy... I'll keep you posted!

All is well with little Dillinger who is becoming a catten now. He is so vocal I could throttle him sometimes but he has made friends with the entire street and goes tarting up to people walking by with very little shame as far as I can see. He goes all cute and lets them pick him up for a cuddle - he's so soft that they can't resist the little blighter! He is so lovely though that I would forgive him anything.

Actually that's it from me now as I've just talked to you on Skype! Missing you like mad and can't wait to see you when you come back for a few weeks in July. BBF is out so I'm going to catch up with some guilty TV on iPlayer and have a sneaky peek at Grazia Magazine! x

Treating The House Like a Hotel

Tomorrow we will have had little Dillinger for 2 weeks. On one hand it seems like he's been here forever and on the other, the novelty still hasn't worn off. He busies himself with whatever he can get his tiny paws on and is both an angel and a demon with razor-sharp talons!

Until last night we had been so very lucky that when we went to sleep he crashed out in the living room and only woke when he heard one of us start moving around... the emphasis here being on the phrase 'until last night'... because last night he decided he was going to continue his daytime 2-hourly manic attacking-everything-that-moved sessions which included him throwing himself at my face and climbing me like a ladder. 

I must have only gotten around 4 hours sleep, as when I threw him out he miaowed plaintively until I buckled like a French soldier and let him back in again. Dexter did this until he was 5 months old, only stopping once I sprayed water in his face when he continued to hurl himself against the bedroom door - I thought we were going to be lucky with Dillinger but clearly not.

He is a dear little thing who loves to sit on our shoulders and cuddle up on our laps. Well, it's a small matter of contention really as he likes to sit on my lap which bothers BBF a little as he wanted to be the favourite I think. I pointed out that I'm around far more than he is so there's nothing I can do about it!

He's quite chatty and confident and has made himself very much at home. I absolutely adore him and can't bear to think that anything might happen to him. I try not to think about it, but after what happened before it's hard not to.  I know he's only a cat but I've waited so long for him that he's actually something special and more than just a bizarrely symmetrical stripey terror.

Taaaa Daaaa!

You cannot fail to have noticed that I have been going on about getting another cat for about a year and a half now. Since little Dexter was killed in October 2009 I had a sad pet-shaped hole in my life, and then 2 days ago I took delivery of tiny little Dillinger.

The journey down had indeed been a bit of a nightmare; the traffic was OK but the little fella had managed to poo in his basket and then tread in it. My friend had cleaned him up as much as she could, but his first experience of our house was wet wipes! He then managed to poo all over his foot and tail on 2 separate occasions before the day was over.

He settled in very quickly seeing as he had never left his Mum and always had his sisters to play with, he familiarised himself with his new home quicker than you could say Royal Canin. I kept him in the living room until he had settled in then opened up the rest of the flat one room at a time, but he wasn't too fussed about exploring without us - it seems he's very sociable.

What was also lovely was that yesterday BBF said he "liked him more than he thought he would"; he knew he'd like him but he'd never been particularly attached to the cats he'd had as a kid. He'll have Dillinger all to himself when I go up for the Royal Wedding Party in 3 days time so they may be thick as thieves when I get back. 

So as you can imagine I'm pleased as punch with little Dillinger; he's bouncy, affable, sociable and a real joy to have around. Dexter was very charming but, although Fraidy liked me, she was a moody tortoiseshell and didn't really like anyone else; in fact she'd take your face off if you looked at her wrong, so I love that Dillinger is an amiable little chap.

And thank you all for bearing with me on this one; I know it must have been really boring hearing a grown woman mourn the loss of her cats - even though it's my blog and I'll write what I want! It was a repetitive subject and you were all very supportive so thank you. I may write a post or two about him but I will try not to mention him too often. But for now I have a new kitty.... yaaaaaaay!

All Good

One more sleep until we get our new kitty! Well, let's be truthful about this - it's one more sleep until I get my new kitty; because we all know this kitten is for me! 

My best friend drives the little fella down tomorrow which could be a hassle or it could be fine; it's only about 2 hours drive away but it's a hot Bank Holiday weekend and I live in one of the towns that people flock to on such occasions. The holiday started today so she might be ok with the traffic. I shall present him to you of course, and then I'll try to shut up about him I promise.

Brighton is great on Bank Holidays, a lot of the population are freelancers and it looked like everyone clocked off after lunch on Thursday; the pubs were packed and I think it might have gotten a bit messy. Because I'm going back up to my friends for the Royal Wedding, I'm only working a 2-day week next week - nice. All these Bank Holidays and the weather seems to be putting everyone in quite good spirits actually!

The Royal Wedding party my friend is holding is going to be really good fun I think; we're having tea and cake, little sandwiches and there's been talk of bunting and tiara's too! It's all brilliantly naff and I'm getting fully into the swing of it - bollocks to cynicism, it's going to be an occasion!

My business has definitely perked up a bit since I last mentioned it; I'm not making a huge amount of money, but I'm out of danger at least and things are going in the right direction. I had basically lost interest for a short while and felt a bit unmotivated; especially as I had discovered I loved making things and wanted to spend my time doing that instead. I sorted myself out and am back on track and going great guns again now - things are definitely looking good.

The craft stuff is also going well; I approached 2 local shops and both said they want to stock the badges I make. One shop is a rather lovely Boutique who have asked for exclusivity in Hove and Shoreham, and the other is a kind of 'trendy' central Brighton shop where a lot of locals and tourists go. I haven't been back to the second one yet but my badges are already selling in the first - the shop assistant had even bought 2! 

So all good all round I guess - have a good Easter folks!

2 More Weeks!

Yup, the kitty (still potentially Dillinger) will be with us in 2 weeks. He will dragged kicking and screaming away from his mop bucket, his siblings, his Mum and the only life he has ever known, experience 2 hours of bewildered terror on his first car journey then be held hostage with 2 strangers in our unfamiliar alien home. 


Thank God he doesn't know!

And Another One...

Do forgive me but my cousin sent through another photo yesterday just after I posted that other one and I can't help but share it with you. I'm VERY excited about getting him in case you hadn't noticed! apparently he's confident, playful and eats like a gannet. 

I promise to write a proper blog post soon; I have SO many things I want to say but just not enough time to get everything done.

Three Weeks To Go!

Forgive his little squinty right eye; the little fella had just recovered from a gacky eye bless him!

The name Dillinger is now in the running.

Purrrfect Kitty (sorry)

Casually curled up with his 2 sisters; he already has the look of a kitty about town as he partakes in an after-dinner lounge.


6 or 7 more weeks and he's ours to bring home - I can't wait.


Any suggestions of names would be welcomed by myself. BBF is overseeing this area but may be open to suggestions.

A Weekend to Remember?

Have you ever lived with one of those people who put the alarm clock on snooze continually so that you keep getting woken up over and over again? Maybe it's you who are one of those people who love nothing better than to be unceremoniously jolted from their slumber just as they've started to drift off again? Well I can tell you I am not one of those people.

BBF however is such a person. He loves the feeling of being woken up only to be able to get some more sleep in, whereas I have always preferred to sleep undisturbed for the longest time possible; the alarm goes off and I just get up. That's just how I roll. Luckily for me he doesn't set the alarm very often!

We're both heading up to my parents house today; we're staying at my best friend's house as my folks don't have  a spare room, we're going to see True Grit (again for me) tonight then tomorrow we will be showing BBF the stomping ground of our youth... I bet he can't wait!

We'll be showing him where we lived just round the corner from each other, Brooklands where we paddled amongst the sticklebacks and discarded crisp packets, the  primary school where we spent playtimes French skipping and winning marbles, the ugly 60's secondary school that we slouched around with sullen expressions, back-combed hair and too much make up (that was me) and the Point Cinema where we wasted many a Saturday afternoon doing fuck all as only teenagers can.

Tomorrow he is also going to meet up to 15 members of my family including my Mum (the horror) and I will then try to explain away any family abnormalities and quirks of nature as if they have never been exhibited before. We are then going to go over to my cousin's house to see our new kitten. Yes, we finally have a kitty lined up - her cat had 3 kittens on Tuesday and only one of them is the little boy that BBF ideally wanted (he thinks male cats are friendlier) So I imagine I will take a tonne of photos and then stare at them continually until we collect him in a couple of months time.

I'm sure BBF will be most amused (and a little bemused) by his introductory peep into the banal locations of my past and the messy, noisy throng that is my massive family.  He says he loves being the centre of attention so lets hope he's right; all he has to do is smile, pretend to be interested in my home town and not be too scared of my family - which is not as easy as it sounds!