I know I've spoken before about how much I like being a freelancer but I've also wrung my hands and wailed in despair about how little money I had. But it's not just that I like and appreciate working for myself - it's actually made such a difference to my life that I would say that working for myself fundamentally changed who I am.
If I hadn't have gone self-employed I don't like to think about where I'd be now. I've had a million jobs and hated pretty much every single one of them. So many times I would leave a job unable to continue doing something I felt was not worthwhile for people I didn't like or respect and I would always quit without having another job to go to.
Although billions of people have jobs they don't enjoy, I simply could't carry on if I felt I was wasting my time and energy on something I did't believe in or enjoy. Some days I would even walk straight past my workplace, sit on the beach or outside a coffee shop in town and despair about what I was going to do. And I keep using the word despair because that exactly describes how I felt. I just didn't know how to get a job that made me happy, fulfilled and came with a good salary.
I was completely tortured by it. As I went through my twenties then thirties I saw that what I did for a living was the big theme in my life and was of such key importance that it effected everything else. If I hated my job then it seeped through every other aspect in my life from relationships to where and how I lived, my mood... literally everything. It was the cause of much unhappiness and frustration.
And then I went freelance and my whole life changed.
I had always known that what I did for a living was important to me, but I hadn't realised exactly how key work was to my sense of self. I appear to be one of those rare people who gets a great deal of pleasure from work which means that when I went freelance I didn't mind putting the hours in - and now I'm reaping the rewards. I love what I do and now I'm finally making pretty decent money doing it.
Mainly though I got what I had always wanted which was work that was part of my life and not something I did all day for someone else before I came home to have my own life. I don't even know how to explain to you what a difference this has made and how thankful and relived I am because it had always been one of those 'long dark night of the soul' subjects a person tortures themself over - a thing that affects them their whole life, you know?
I had continually and painfully struggled with my relationship with work since I entered employment, so becoming a freelancer in my mid-thirties not only changed me but it actively made me the person I am now. And I can't even begin to find the right words to explain to you how much happier, calmer and contented I am now compared to the person I was before.
I am so happy that you have found the lifestyle that you need and proud of what you have acheived. You knew from day 1 that this was what you wanted and you have made it work. You are a shining example to us all! X
ReplyDeleteAnd not just a little bit of help from you along the way!
DeleteIt's really interesting reading this. When I qualify this month, I have the option to become a 'member in practice', ie become self-employed. It is so tempting but then I worry whether I'd be able to manage my own business. I guess the crux is that I actually really enjoy my work so there isn't a push to get out and do something else.
ReplyDeletePeople had suggested Freelancing to me before but, until I hit upon what I wanted to Freelance in, I didn't want to do it. As soon as I had the idea for my business I knew I'd be successful. My thoughts were that at SOME POINT enough people would hire me - there are billions of people in the world and one day I'd have enough clients, even if I had to pick up a p/t job until I did.
DeleteLuckily I never had to. When you work for yourself you don't seem to mind putting the hours in and when you get down to the bare bones of it, running your own business is pretty simple - you need clients, a way to invoice them, and you need to record your expenses and income for the tax man. That's it.
If you're thinking about doing it then my advice would be to do your research and feel confident about what you do and don't undervalue yourself.
Let me know if you take the plunge - it's life-changing! x
you are "living the dream"!!! it's amazing what happens when you are really doing what you love!!
ReplyDeleteSome days it doesn't feel like I'm living the dream, but most days it's awesome. It's hard work of course, but I've never been happier.
DeleteNot everyone has the right temperament to be a freelancer - some people need the "working for the man" structure to even get out of bed in the morning. And you have to hustle. Most people would rather do their job, then go to the pub and not think about anything else.
ReplyDeleteBut good for you - nothing, but nothing, is worse than work you don't like - ooh, misery.
This is true, most people like the security of knowing where their next pay cheque is coming from and I can understand that. I don't have to hustle though - I know what I do, what I'm good at, who I like working for, and who my clients are. I just then contact them or they contact me.
DeleteThe idea of just doing my job then going to the pub and not thinking about anything else horrifies me. You spend so much time at work that (for me) just 'going about your working day' and not feeling that it contributes to who you are is doing yourself a massive disservice.
You're freelance too - if only they would pay you for what you're worth worth though, which is a lot. I've seen your work and you're very talented. x