Did You Miss Me?

Hello everyone again. I bet you thought you'd seen the back of me eh? I'm so sorry that I left you. I didn't mean to disappear but it just happened. Part of me thinks that it's only the non-busy that can blog y'know - I have 2 other blogs that I write as I have 2 businesses but I'm going to try and put a stop to that. I have an overwhelming desire to simplify everything. I desperately crave a more balanced life again.

So I'm starting that by making time to come on here and not to leave when I'm busy. So here's a massive brain-dump summary of what I've been doing to get you up to speed:

I'd been trying to sort out my work life for a while now. I have 2 businesses but I like doing one more than the other (which I'm more known for annoyingly) so I've decided to focus just on that and put all my marketing and mental efforts into just one instead of both so I can get my life back. Strangely, once I'd made that decision in my head (which was a coupla days ago) I felt so much lighter. The world seemed simpler and I even started to walk slower and take my surroundings in instead of hurrying around with my head in the future.

I also had the Green Man Festival going on that long-term readers will know that I work at each August. So for 2 months before the event I'd been doing pre-event work plus some extra work the organisers asked me to sort out this year, plus running both my other businesses, plus having a personal life. So there was just no room for writing this blog. Or maybe I just didn't have enough to say to make the room I'm not sure.

Things are still up and down with my boyfriend. Sometimes things are great and some days I want to throttle him. I'm not sure I work well in a relationship. I'm not good with putting up with someone else's shit, and I like living alone with everything how I like it. Here I live in a small, dark one-bed basement flat with someone who also works from home. The flat gets dirty really quickly and is a haven for spiders which, as you know, I'm terrified of. I can't afford to move out, although that's not the reason I stay. 

I think relationships are hard work in general. When you're used to having your own way all the time and not having to take into consideration... well, anyone, it can be hard to suddenly have to do that. I know the things he liked about me at first also drive him mad (my independence, and endearing selfishness to name but 2 things.) He in turn goes in and out of depression (not because of me) which as you can imagine is a right barrel of laughs. 

You can't fix a depressed person it turns out. And I'm not the most sympathetic of people either "cheer the fuck up and sort yourself out" isn't the thing to say apparently. We'll get there I guess - either that or I'll smother him in his sleep. I do love him so we're trying to work it all out - living on top of each other like this isn't helping that's for sure.

Last night a really horrific thing happened. To be fair, it wasn't as horrific as when I opened the back door a few weeks ago on my way to peg the white wash out and a medium-sized garden spider fell straight down my top. That was pretty bad. I let out a rather piercing shriek and hurled the washing to the floor as I panicked and jumped up and down hysterically. No it wasn't as horrific as that, but it did come close.

I was in the kitchen making some toast. I made the snack and went back into the living room. A while later I wandered back with my plate to see one of the biggest effing spiders I have ever seen crumpled up on the floor half squashed but very dead. I realised that I must have accidentally stepped on it while making the toast... in my bare feet.... IN MY BARE FUCKING FEET!!!!

Moving on from that harrowing story (you need to know these things and I need to get it out of my soul), I'm currently watching the closing ceremony of the Paralympics which is amusing really as I believe I was the only person in the UK not to watch any of the Olympics or Paralympics - I do like a good show though and there's nothing us Brits do better than put on a really weird, surreal show for the rest of the planet to puzzle over. My hairdresser said I was the only person she's asked who didn't watch any. I feel a little proud of that for some reason.

So I think that's it for now. I don't want to overwhelm you with so much riveting information that you can't sleep tonight from too much excitement. I intend to come back shortly and tell you more about the festival and other things that I've been doing. This is what I intend on doing anyway...