I received a text from my friend's partner yesterday to say that her Mum had died that morning. I had taken my friend for tea and cake at a swanky seafront hotel last Thursday and she said the doctors thought her Mum had another couple of months - and yet less than a week later she is gone.
My friend is devastated as you can imagine. Well I don't know how she is as I haven't spoken to her and she hasn't replied to my text. I doubt she can think of anything at the moment. I've done the usual - told her how sorry I am and offered to look after her son or to help in any way I can. But there's little else a person can do in these situations it seems.
What has been shocking is the speed at which this happened. She was only diagnosed around 4 months ago and had been having regular cancer screening up until then. She wasn't even 70 I think and suddenly it's all over her. It's frightening to know that something can take hold of you and kill you that fast.
Last week my friend said she was lucky in some ways. Her Mum got to see her only son married this Summer without any illness hanging over her (she was fine then with no suggestion of illness) and she got to spend a few years with her only Grandchild. In the future I imagine my friend might be glad that her Mum didn't die at Christmas too. She might be grateful that there isn't a shadow hanging over it so she can celebrate the day with her family without feeling guilty.
The whole thing is just horrible. My friend was worried that her Mum would die on her own as she could only spend 4 days of the week up in London as her husband had to work. I don't know if that happened. She said her brother was also worried he wouldn't be there as he lives in Brussels - they had no timescale to work with you see. She told me her Mum looked at her last week and said "tell me I'm going to be ok". And she simply couldn't. What a thing to go through.
I am so sorry.What an awful time for your friend. You can only do what you have done - she will reply when she's ready and then she might need some more tea with you or maybe a big bottle of wine. I hope your dad is doing ok too - I'm sure this sort of thing brings all sorts of emotions to the fore. Sarah x
ReplyDeleteSorry for your friends loss, it sure is a difficult and painful thing to have to go through.
ReplyDeleteSo so sad for her ... I am also spending time with a friend here who has just found out that her Dad is riddled with cancer, I understand exactly how you feel about wanting to be there and do more, but I'm sure our friends know that we will do what we can. What else can a friend do except show their love and be ready to carry the burden when they can ...
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