Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

So Christmas is less than 3 weeks away now. It's funny how it changes as you get older - when you're small you can't wait for it to come and it seems to take aaaages to come around again (Christmas Eve has in fact been scientifically proved to be the longest night of the year), when you're in your teens you're not really that fussed and just want to get lunch over so you can go round your mate's house, in your twenties you've flown the nest and then 'go home' for Christmas, then after a few days when you can bear your relations no more so you 'go home' again back to your student digs or some other accommodation that you will look upon as sub-standard living a decade later.

Now I'm in my 30's I'm finding Christmas a bit strange. I'm not married with children or even in a long-term relationship (always a series of short ones it seems) plus I don't even want children (I chose shoes and am very happy with my decision) but when Christmas comes around it makes me feel like I should be bustling around the kitchen with flour on my face showing some kids how to make gingerbread men, although ironically I barely know how to use the oven, or I should be sipping sherry whilst watching them make those garland things and hang decorations on the tree.

In reality I'm sure I'm just being influenced by Coke adverts and Hollywood films - in the real World I bet the whole thing is just an expensive nightmare; the kids will argue about who's going to lick the bowl, one of them will get pushed into the tree (which leaves needles in the carpet until July) they'll moan that the presents they get aren't good enough and then they'll get over-tired, grizzle then throw-up cos they've eaten too much chocolate.

Actually, do you know I think I'll just stick with my usual routine which is to sit around in my pajamas for most of the morning, chat with my folks on the phone, then go round lots of different friends houses collecting gifts until I'm fully loaded on champagne and Quality Street, watch lots of Christmas telly, play some party games then go to bed happy and a bit drunk. Yaaaay - roll on Christmas!