Each to Their Own

Man there are some weird blogs on this site. If you've never spent some time hitting 'Next Blog' at the top of the screen then you are missing out my friends. It's an exercise in terror.

Most are to do with sports but many of them are also god-related. This isn't always evident at first however; sometimes you read down a little ways and are then confronted with a blessing or proverb. This is when I generally try to virtually tiptoe quietly away and hope I'm not spotted. Not that people know you're there of course, it's just that I suddenly get the fear wash over me and I feel the need to make a sharp exit.

Lots of blogs were sitting there sad and lonely where the person has given up writing it a year or two ago (we all know how easily that happens!) And quite a few were focused on their kid, so endless stories and photos of one dull, snotty-nosed little darling doing the usual stuff - going to school, playing on swings etc.

Here are some examples of what I've found in the last half hour:

This family's blog is entirely about their kid who they are actively encouraging to be stupid. They describe themselves as thus: "We are a nature loving, co-sleeping, unschooling family, striving for a peaceful lifestyle." Which means they are colossal hippies, the couple never have sex, and their kid will grow up to be a thickie. 

This poor bastard hasn't written since Nov 2011 just after he was institutionalised after a psychotic breakdown. A very harrowing story made slightly understandable when you read that he was a physics teacher. This blog started out quite happily in 2007 and somewhere along the line he seems to have descended into madness. His last post was quite rambling and when I looked at the 15 comments, most of them were spam. People who didn't care that he was crying out for help, they just wanted to sell him shit or ask him to come and read their blog. Dreadful.

This fella is mental about Ukulele's, so if you've been tossing and turning at night wondering how you can find out a bit more about the ukulele and it's finer workings then this blog has all the answers you'll need and more. You can even watch a short video of the writer play the theme music to Glee on a trumpet. Just joking... a ukulele!

This is a weird one. It seems to be some young tech and fashion-savvy Asian girl writing about all sorts of mad stuff with lots of repeat videos of her posing around in some tiny outfits in her parents living room. Her blog is sort of a paedophile's wet dream actually as she's a bit Lola-ish in some of the videos. She's kinda cool actually, in a too-kool-for-skool way.

I also read wide-eyed and mouth agape about one poor cow's account of her agonising childbirth, how the baby pooed inside her, and how her "right labia nearly ripped completely off". I don't have children and never once fancied going down that route - my labia are doing thank you very much. she hasn't blogged since the birth, which is fair enough.

So if you've got a spare half hour then I highly recommend 'Next Blogging'. Just gird your loins first.