Suffering Little Children

As mentioned, the only thing that marred our holiday in France was the behaviour of a couple of the kids. There were 4 children altogether - lets call them Dylan, Rosa, Jago and Amelie for 'twas their names.

Dylan and Jago weren't too bad to be fair; they were noisy as all kids are, but they behaved themselves most of the time. The 2 girls however were a bloody nightmare. I am not exaggerating when I say that not 15 minutes passed without some crying, whinging or whining, and I could even hear them over my headphones.

Rosa is 6 and seemed to be fretful about everything; nothing could make her happy and everything she said was in the highest whiniest voice she could muster. At no point did either of her parents say "just stop it. enough already", they just pandered to her and let her continue to irritate the hell out of everyone. Well I say everyone; it seems that if you have kids you somehow become immune to the sound of brat.

They thundered along the corridor outside our room early every morning, and after we were kept awake by them shrieking around in the open plan kitchen, BBF went downstairs to say something and only then did their Mums take them into the designated fully-stocked play room complete with dvd player and everything else a child might need to occupy itself in order to result in a bit of shut the fuck up.

Amelie was the worst; from the first morning the word "Mummmeeee" was repeated endlessly. The reason she constantly repeated every sentence over and over and over and over again was because both of her parents ignored her. She never stopped and her whiny voice was the soundtrack to the holiday really. We wanted to shout "for the love of God just bloody answer her!"

All of the kids except Jago were sick while we were there. Dylan started it all off by projectile vomiting all over the floor, his Mum and himself whilst we were eating dinner. By the time he had finished throwing up half the swimming pool he was ankle deep in it. He then kept going all night and, not wanting to be left out, all the other children followed suit over the next few nights. I know it wasn't their fault but let's just say they were not discreet children.

Never have I been so glad not to have any kids.  You all know I'm not keep on them, but I was constantly congratulating myself for my child-free status. I was so pleased it was not me cleaning up that massive puddle of sick, and the relief I felt when Amelie shat her pants one morning was palpable. Between them they were either being ignored or life revolved around them. At the beginning of the holiday we could have stayed there forever, but by the last day we couldn't wait to leave.