Compromise - The C Word?

Well I've finally worked out a way to actually access my blog today; God knows what Blogger have been up to this last week but it seems I'm not the only one who's been having problems. The only way I can access it now is to log in via Google search rather than logging in directly from Blogger.com - pretty rubbish but hopefully they'll get their act together soon. 

BBF is away for the weekend helping out a friend at some barbecue competition; I'm not sure what it is about men, fire and raw meat but they gravitate to it like bees to honey! It's only the second time I've had the flat to myself since I moved in 6 months ago and I'm really enjoying it. I used to need so much more time to myself but that seems to have changed once I met BBF.

I've discovered that lots of things change when you start a serious relationship then move in together - although they're linked, they're also 2 separate issues and I've found adapting to both much harder than I thought. When you have 2 people who are used to doing exactly what they want when they want, compromises can be quite difficult... when you're single you don't have much compromising to do at all!

It's the small mundane normal things that I've found most difficult to adapt to; when I moved in loads of things changed for me from how and where I work, what I watch and when, how my home is decorated, what I eat and when, and how I spend some of my spare time. It's not that I mind changes, it's just that they're much harder to take on when they all come at once and they bring out parts of your personality that you're not overly proud of.

I turned a corner recently when I realised that I had to change my mindset; I wasn't single any more, so I would have to take someone else into consideration or else what was the point in having a relationship? I'd always bailed out when I had to compromise or things became a bit of a hassle, but now I'd met someone I wanted to stay with, I had to fully commit to this new life rather than compare it to how it was when I was single... this is always easier said than done however!

Overall, things with BBF and I are brilliant; he's amazing in so many ways and I know I'm really lucky to have found him. I can be quite contrary and I'm very picky (about countless things) so to have found him at nearly 40 when I had almost come to believe that I had too many expectations is really quite something. 

That's not to say that I always like having to watch The Apprentice on iPlayer or America's Next Top Model on YouTube when he's out, arguing over whether to have the radio on or off when we're working or living with reams of electrical cables!

None of this is unusual in any way; people move in with each other all the time - they work out how the other works, adapt around them, work out compromises and generally build their lives around each other. I just didn't realise how much work was involved; especially if your temperament isn't designed that way! 

Maybe it's being a selfish Generation Xer or one of Thatchers Children, or maybe it's all the additives in the Nesquik and Ice Magic I consumed as a child, but working hard to achieve something or persevering through difficulties doesn't always seem to come easy to my generation. Saying that, I don't think we're not doing too badly at working out how to happily live together when one of us is the life and soul of the party and the one likes nothing better than staying in watching history programmes with the cat. And after the initial push-me-pull-you compromise wrangles, I think it's making me a better person with it.