I went outside in my pajamas and there he was. I still can't believe it. He was the most amiable, happiest little fella and I loved him so much. I'd only had him a year and I just can't believe he's gone already. I'm not going to get another one this time as I just can't go through this again.
My parents are on their way down now to collect him; I was actually going to visit them on Thursday but my Dad couldn't bear the thought of me having to bring my dead cat with me on the train. That's 2 cats that I've lost in a year and now both will be in my parents garden. He was only just over a year old and It's such a shock. I can't believe he's gone.
There is no doubt now that I will be moving out of here as quickly as I can - this is now just the place where Dexter was killed. His little paw prints are still on the window sill and his fur is on the bed. I can't believe that whilst I was sleeping he was probably dying outside on his own in the cold and dark.
I had a private Blog called Dexter's Diary that only I could see where I updated how he was doing and posted pictures. I didn't have many photos of my last cat so I wanted to document his life - I was so excited that we were at the beginning of our journey together, and now it's already over.
I am so gutted I can't even tell you.
Ohh Hun, I feel for you so much. Some people find it hard to understand how deeply the loss of a pet ( friend ) can effect you.
ReplyDeletePlease don't beat yourself up about not being there outside I am sure he would have passed quickly and will be waiting for you on the other side one day.
All pets go to heaven .
All my love and a big hug xx
Really sorry to hear this.
ReplyDeleteOne of the reasons I work for myself is that I value taking my dogs out every morning more than commuting to London - which clients never understand. I know I earn a lot less than I could if i didn't have the dogs - but they make my life better in 1000 ways.
Once you have found somewhere better to live and are more settled - I would think again about offering another home you know it works both ways.
All the best.
Thank you for your comments; I feel a little better today although I still can't quite believe it's all over so quickly. I really loved the little fella & it just seems so unfair. Yesterday trulu was a horrid, awful day.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about another cat; I would be so worried all the time that I couldn't bear it.
Interestingly enough, I may get a little dog one day though; if the freelancing really takes off (getting there actually, I'm doing quite well)I could probably take it to most jobs, & I have a flatmate who does alternate shifts.
I would only get one if I was in a good financial position, had the space & the time to train it properly & could give it the kind of life a dog needs. I couldn't rule out another cat but I've lost 2 in a year now & it's far too painful.
It's just so cruel that my last cat lived until she was 14, moved countless times & never got a scratch on her; & this little fella was killed within weeks of moving - in a road full of cats where none get knocked over. maybe he was too young to understand how it worked.
It could have been worse; nobody could have phoned me & I found him myself, he could have been in a terrible physical state, he could have been half-alive when found, it could have happened when I was away, Saying that, I don't feel lucky that none of these things happened, I just feel gutted that he's been taken away.
Life is teaching me some very hard unfair lessons at the moment..