It's a really nice way to see if you've got similar interests before you meet too - chemistry is great but if you're into different things or have different values or goals then it'll never work. But you have to actually meet to see if there's any chemistry of course.
I've found it a really good way to 'get back out there' and re-learn how to flirt and talk to men. I'm a pretty chatty person, but dating is a whole different ball game so the practice is useful!
So, here are the scores on the doors so far:
Date 1: Ian - (41 with no kids) Christmas hadn't been kind to Ian and, although lovely in character, he was carrying way more timber and chins than I was led to believe and I did not fancy him at all. He came to Brighton, we had lunch on the pier, wandered around the shops, had coffee, then I sent him on his merry way.
Date 2: Geoff - (44 with no kids) I went on 2 dates with Geoff. Date one was bowling (this is a brilliant first date as it's fun, you can flirt, you're focused on a shared goal, and you get to check out each others behinds) where there was a lot of chemistry. He was tall which I really like as I do like a nice heel and the date went well. Date 2 was to a country pub where I discovered he seemed to have no passion or drive for anything and I wondered if this extended to people.
When he dropped me off he told me he'd been on another second date 2 days before and they'd decide to start seeing each other - he'd wanted to keep his date with me as we'd already arranged it. I personally wished he hadn't as I could've done something else more interesting that day.
When he dropped me off he told me he'd been on another second date 2 days before and they'd decide to start seeing each other - he'd wanted to keep his date with me as we'd already arranged it. I personally wished he hadn't as I could've done something else more interesting that day.
Date 3: Terry - (43 with no kids) I went on 2 dates with Terry as well as I don't think you can
always tell from 2 or 3 hours in someone's company whether there might be something there. He was absolutely lovely but we didn't feel any chemistry and decided to stay friends. He's since found a new girlfriend from the site which is proof that it does work.
Date 4: Russ - (38, divorced with a 5 year old daughter) this is a hard one to discuss as it was quite a mental experience. We went bowling and hit it off immediately. We got on so well that (at his request) we saw each other 4 times in a week... and then he just went weird and bowed out.
He said his feelings were all over the place and he needed time to sort them out (bla-bla usual bollocks). I was pretty cut up actually as, although I'd only known him for a week, he was good company and I was having fun. I was very confused as to what had happened but am now sure that I had a narrow escape from a dickhead. Anyone who freaks out after 4 dates is pretty pathetic - but I was very surprised at how bad I felt after he did this.
Dates lined up:
These are dates I have yet to go on but that have been scheduled.
1) Joe: (44, divorced, no kids) I was supposed to see him last night but he cancelled as he had to work late. I'm not sure either of us are feeling this.
2) Steve: (44 with a 3 year old daughter) He's a writer who I'm meeting on Monday. He seems pretty interesting so we'll see.
3) Frank: (44 with an 11 year old daughter) He works in the Arts and I'm meeting him on Tuesday night. I'm looking forward to this one the most as his messages have been really interesting and he's a geek like me.
Divorced men and/or men with kids are actually quite good to date. They've messed it up once so are now hopefully wiser as to what they want and what makes a good relationship. If they have kids (and they're a GOOD Dad) they know how to budget and plan and put someone else first (if they're a bad Dad then you just avoid them) and, because they have their kids a day or 2 a week, you get a nice amount of time to yourself as well. Also, meeting a guy in his late 30's or 40's without kids is quite rare nowadays!
So that's the state of things as they stand. I'm not desperate to find a boyfriend, but I'm putting myself out there in the hope of meeting someone to have fun with and connect with I guess. I'm not into conventional relationships where you spend all your waking hours with someone then move in together, have kids, take all your holidays together and check with them before you do anything though.
I don't want an open relationship but I'd like to create something modern based on what we both individually want - I like my own space and like living by myself for example. I like most of the things that come with a relationship such as intimacy, sex, closeness and having someone you love and can do romantic things with, but I don't like being told what to do and I really hate it when you feel strongly for a person so things they do or say unsettle your emotional stability and bring out less-than-pleasant emotions.
It seems that you can't have one without the other though...
Date 4: Russ - (38, divorced with a 5 year old daughter) this is a hard one to discuss as it was quite a mental experience. We went bowling and hit it off immediately. We got on so well that (at his request) we saw each other 4 times in a week... and then he just went weird and bowed out.
He said his feelings were all over the place and he needed time to sort them out (bla-bla usual bollocks). I was pretty cut up actually as, although I'd only known him for a week, he was good company and I was having fun. I was very confused as to what had happened but am now sure that I had a narrow escape from a dickhead. Anyone who freaks out after 4 dates is pretty pathetic - but I was very surprised at how bad I felt after he did this.
Dates lined up:
These are dates I have yet to go on but that have been scheduled.
1) Joe: (44, divorced, no kids) I was supposed to see him last night but he cancelled as he had to work late. I'm not sure either of us are feeling this.
2) Steve: (44 with a 3 year old daughter) He's a writer who I'm meeting on Monday. He seems pretty interesting so we'll see.
3) Frank: (44 with an 11 year old daughter) He works in the Arts and I'm meeting him on Tuesday night. I'm looking forward to this one the most as his messages have been really interesting and he's a geek like me.
Divorced men and/or men with kids are actually quite good to date. They've messed it up once so are now hopefully wiser as to what they want and what makes a good relationship. If they have kids (and they're a GOOD Dad) they know how to budget and plan and put someone else first (if they're a bad Dad then you just avoid them) and, because they have their kids a day or 2 a week, you get a nice amount of time to yourself as well. Also, meeting a guy in his late 30's or 40's without kids is quite rare nowadays!
So that's the state of things as they stand. I'm not desperate to find a boyfriend, but I'm putting myself out there in the hope of meeting someone to have fun with and connect with I guess. I'm not into conventional relationships where you spend all your waking hours with someone then move in together, have kids, take all your holidays together and check with them before you do anything though.
I don't want an open relationship but I'd like to create something modern based on what we both individually want - I like my own space and like living by myself for example. I like most of the things that come with a relationship such as intimacy, sex, closeness and having someone you love and can do romantic things with, but I don't like being told what to do and I really hate it when you feel strongly for a person so things they do or say unsettle your emotional stability and bring out less-than-pleasant emotions.
It seems that you can't have one without the other though...
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