Fidelity - Dead in The Water?

I not only think that people who have affairs are despicable; I also think that women who have affairs with married men are beneath contempt. It is so painful to be cheated on that I'm amazed someone can happily inflict that on someone else. They come up with all kinds of excuses: "we're in love", "his wife doesn't understand him", "he doesn't love her"; when really they're just deluded. 

He will never leave his wife for you and if he cheated on his wife, then he'll cheat on you too - and your behaviour demonstrates that you're also a mercenary tart.It's been hard to avoid the epidemic of cheaters in the press lately; both men and women who appear unable to keep their pants on and their morals intact. What's disgusted me however, is the arguments trying to justify it.

In my opinion, the only time an affair is fine is if you and your partner have agreed that you can BOTH see other people - otherwise you're actually just a deceitful liar trying to make your grubby behaviour acceptable. I may seem very holier-than-thou and viewing the matter in a very black and white state, but to me it's always been quite simple: if you loved someone enough to marry them, and you stood there in front of your family, friends and your God and made a promise, then you should keep that promise. and if you can't then you should leave them so they can find someone better.

From reading the many articles in the press lately it seems that everyone is at it - I read this article in the Guardian yesterday from the nasty piece of work that is Julie Powell trying to convince us that her dirty affair was the making of her marriage. Really? an affair is not how I'd go about creating a solid relationship personally, but she seems to think it's fine to not only cheat on her husband, but then to write a book about it and make money from her lack of principles.

You can clearly see that I feel very strongly about this subject - as far as I'm concerned, if you want to sleep with other people then you should leave your partner, and if you start to even think that you might want to sleep with someone else then you need to work on your relationship. I don't share my toys, and if any boyfriend cheats on me then he is gone - I'm far better off without the idiot and his apologies are just to make himself feel better not me.

I'm actually shocked and depressed by such high levels of infidelity; is it that people simply think they're entitled to do what they like at the expense of others? (people they claim to love) is it that they're so insecure and self-involved they need constant reassurance that they're amazing, witty, charming, or desirable? Or is it that they simply don't give a shit and they'll just do whatever they like then be 'really, really sorry' when they're caught and try to claim it was partly the other persons fault? 

I've seen people come up with all sorts of reasons of how a marriage might benefit from an affair; but to me it is a huge betrayal and any attempt at reasoning is just bullshit. ('sometimes it takes an infidelity to realise how much you love your parter' - too bad, you should have given it some thought earlier you loser) A marriage is a serious thing and if you renege on your promise to that person and cheat on them without having the decency to leave them, then in my opinion that makes you a bit of a shit.